


Written in the Stars

by LunaStories



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Cas is an alien, Castiel has wings, Crazy shit happens, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Protective Castiel, Science Fiction, Soulmates AU, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Wing Kink, and if you guys are scared because of the major character death tag, but not as bad as canon supernatural lol, check the end notes for more details, dean and cas are soulmates, humor and crack at times, it's not that bad lol, sexy times do happen, so much domestic fluff, thefriendlypigeon, they get rings i'm dead with the fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-01-31 19:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 36,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12688821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaStories/pseuds/LunaStories
Summary: In the beginning of time itself, there were many Celestials, stardust beings that populated the galaxies. Then, the Fallen came into existence, devouring them.Castiel, one of the last of the Celestials, descended onto Earth by orders of his garrison leader. What he finds there is the soul he lost long ago, the other part of him that he'd been searching for.Dean was a normal guy, living his life and trying to take care of his errant researcher brother. When his brother asks him for a favor, claiming that an alien wants to speak to him, he's of course skeptical.He didn't expect that meeting to change the course of his entire life, throwing him into a war that he wasn't prepared for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! For those who are new to me, I'm Luna :) This is my first foray into writing a long fic for destiel (That I've posted. I have a lot of work in progress ones) so please excuse any mistakes I make. The SPN Reverse Bang is the first event I've ever participated in and this entire thing was a wild ride. The fic kept growing and growing and ended up being around 36k, the longest thing I've ever written to date. I am terribly happy that I managed to complete it in time, and I am very excited to show everyone my hard work. This fic consumed my entire life these past weeks and it's everything I hoped it would be.
> 
> I would like to thank the [SPN Reverse Bang](https://spn-reversebang.livejournal.com/) mods for all their hard work. Without them, this event wouldn't have been as fun and organized. 
> 
> I would also like to thank my beta readers [Sal (SalParadiseLost)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalParadiseLost) and [Jen (jld71) ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Jld71/pseuds/Jld71). Sal, despite your busy schedule, thank you for editing the few pages you could, it helped me through the process of writing the rest of the fic. Jen, thank you for the grammar edits and your kind comments. They both write destiel as well so please check them out :)
> 
> Many thanks to my friends who helped me through this, and to [Skeper Paine](http://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Paine/pseuds/S_Paine), whom I basically coerced into joining this event with me. Our little writing/study days seriously helped my productivity and made this event a lot of fun. I dedicate the sunset scene to you, my friend. We made it and I'm so proud of us. Please go read her fic too! It's a unique and fun story. You can find it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12688920).
> 
> Last but not least, I would like to thank [Pigeon](http://thefriendlypigeon.tumblr.com/) who's art piece was such an inspiration to me that I managed to somehow write a small novel dedicated to it. She's an amazing artist and it was a dream come true to work with her. I would like to say we really bonded over our mutual suffering and soullessness. We are both gigantic messes. Here's to many more days together. xD *Raises glass* I dedicate the pigeon scene to you. You can see her amazing pieces for this story [here](http://thefriendlypigeon.tumblr.com/post/168198740929/written-in-the-stars-dcbb-2017-art). 
> 
> And of course, a massive round of applause to all the participants of this event. Good job guys! I'm so proud of everyone and it was a real treat seeing all the posts come up. We've worked hard and come far. 
> 
> Now on to the fic, this is one that spans their entire lives up to the end. It is melancholic, painful at times, and humorous. There were happy tears, sad tears, and many laughs to be had. This is a fic solely focused on the developing relationship between Dean and Castiel, the sci-fi part is just a part of it. I love these two dorks so much and I hope it shows in my writing. Good luck, and enjoy.
> 
> Easter eggs: I put in a bunch of destiel quotes in this fic. Tell me which ones you guys found xD
> 
> For those worried about the major character death tag, check end notes for a full explanation.

_Our story began in the stars…_

xxxxxx

Castiel drifted.

For how long? He didn’t know. Time was a pointless concept when he existed outside that spectrum with his garrison. He’s existed since the beginning of time itself so he didn’t take time into consideration.

He drifted, incorporeal, a scattering of stars and the sweeping motions of comets.

He usually didn’t mind the empty darkness of space. The silence was calm. Peaceful. Only broken by the whisperings of his brethren in the distance. Within him there was an aching sensation. The longing for his other half built into a crescendo, screaming at him to search. He thought the pain had dimmed with time, but recently it stirred again. And now he feels…

Lost.

The once comforting silence seemed to roar around him. He’s drifted for so long he doesn’t even know why he exists anymore.

He needs a purpose again.

The only highlights of his existence were when he went to battle with his squadron, warring against their enemies who have existed just as long as they have. He was a soldier and fighting was what he did best. The recent peace should have been a blessing but it just made him restless and hollow.

As if sensing his despondence, the shrill echo of his garrison leader’s voice sounded within him.

_Castiel, we have work for you._

And so he went.

xxxxxx

  
Dean hummed along to the heavy beat of “Eye of the Tiger” as he cleaned his sexy, beautiful ‘67 Chevy Impala. His mind wandered as he washed his car, and his movements were tense.

Sam always picked on him, saying that he felt the music more with his erratic dancing than with his ears. Dean, on the other hand, thought that Sam should shove his unwanted opinions into his long ass hair where it would hopefully get lost forever.

Their sibling relationship wasn’t the most conventional, both preferring to mock and tease each other. It worked for them, and it was how they showed their support and love. Even though they weren’t the best with words, or at least Dean seemed to hate using them, they would tell each other almost anything.

At least that’s how they used to be. It all came to a head one day when Sam didn’t return to their house for two nights in a row. Despite leaving a message saying he’d be out for a few days, it did little to subdue the growing suspicion Dean had that Sam was involved in something too dangerous for him. Sam’s weird behavior started soon after he’d come home excited, rambling about how he’d been promoted from being an intern to working in the actual field with the research job he’d acquired. Dean had been happy for him, content that since Sammy’s job was government related, his brother would be secure and safe. As a mechanic with his own shop, Dean was secure in his position in life but his brother was always striving for more and it made him so proud that Sam’s hard work had paid off.

Recently Sammy’s been even more distracted, nodding along blankly when Dean tried to talk to him over dinner. The other day he even forgot his keys at work. Dean had found him sitting morosely on the doorsteps to their house, hands clasped and eyes distant. He’d tried asking Sam once or twice directly if anything was wrong but his brother dismissed him both times. He claimed that work exhaustion was his reason for being quieter than usual. Dean knew his brother though, and he knew it was something more.

Now, he regretted not grilling his brother on what exactly the job entailed and where this so called “research project” was situated. Dean’s unease only grew worse when five men in suits showed up while he was washing his car, exactly three days after Dean lost contact with Sam. He didn’t resist when they said that they were with Sam and that he needed to come with them. Dean was determined to go to his brother, no matter what shit he was involved in. He wasn’t stupid though and they didn’t stop him when he tucked his trusty revolver into the back of his pants.

If it was drugs or gang related he could deal with it. They always got through their troubles and this was no different. Dean just had to stay strong for his brother and piece him back together when shit inevitably went wrong.

But of course, only his brother would become involved in something so bizarre that it blew Dean’s expectations out of the water.

“Aliens,” Dean stated, his gaze disbelieving as he stared down his brother. His arms crossed and his fingers thrummed furiously against his elbow. He was still angry about the fact that Sam hadn’t told him where he was. Mostly he was angry at the people in charge of this project. They were the ones who took away Sam’s phone and refused him any contact with Dean. “You expect me to just believe that?”

His jaw was clenched tight, eyes darting around before settling them on his brother.

“Dean,” Sam started saying, leaning forward in his chair and raising his hands, palms up beseechingly. “I saw it myself, I know it doesn’t make sense but believe me, it is very real and it wants to talk to you.”

Dean scoffed, running his hand down his face in a nervous gesture his brother knew too well. “I don’t get it. What does this supposed alien want with me?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did his brother really think an alien would want anything to do with Dean? Maybe the research project had messed with his head. He didn’t know what it was, but he didn’t like any of this.

He didn’t want to meet this alien, and just thinking about it made shivers run up his spine. It didn’t sound like a good idea and he definitely did not want to increase his chances of probing.

Sam glanced down at his hands, sighing as he scratched the back of his neck. “I admit, my research team had to put up some really compelling arguments before I reluctantly allowed them to involve you. But Dean, you have to believe me, it’s not dangerous. So far it’s been calm, it hasn’t shown any signs of aggression. It communicates solely through sending you mental images and I saw clearly, every time I went to observe it, a picture of you in full HD detail. It seems the alien has been sending that same image to all the visitors within the chamber but I was the only one who identified the person as my brother.”

“So...what you’re saying is this alien really wants to probe me?” Dean smirked, adding in a few waggles of his eyebrows. He laughed when Sam threw up his hands in exasperation, having accomplished his goal of annoying his brother even in such a tense situation.

“No, Dean. Get your mind out of the gutter. There will be no probing involved, it’s incorporeal anyways. Mostly just composed of a matter with such _unique_ structural integrity that we can’t even-”

“Alright, I’ll cut you off there while I can still follow whatever the hell’s coming out of your mouth,” Dean huffed, a loud sigh that echoed in the room they’d been sent to talk in. His body was tense, unsure of the situation, and a part of him wanted to grab Sam and run far away from this madness. “Okay so let’s say I do meet this ‘alien’,” Dean continued, making air quotes. “Will it help in your research?”

Sam’s gaze softened, a smile gracing his lips at his brother’s constantly self sacrificing nature. Dean was a bleeding heart and always willing to help, even if he tried to deny it.

“Yes, Dean,” Sam replied, leaning back in his chair and with such an air of eagerness that Dean knew he couldn’t deny his brother this.

“Alright, I’ll do it but you’ll owe me so many car washes after this is over.” Dean gave in, even as he tried to be stern.

“Of course Dean, you won’t regret this!” Sam replied like an overexcited large puppy as he left the room to go inform his team of the good news.

Dean sighed again, tipping his head back on the uncomfortable metal chair he was sitting on, and tried to wrap his mind around everything.

Staring at the ceiling, he thought to himself. _I really hope I don’t regret this._

xxxxxx

“...So make sure you stay at least ten feet away from the glass. Your brother will be sent in with you as well as one of our other researchers, Kevin, so that they can record the interaction.” The lead researcher finished saying, sternly.

“Uh huh.” Dean replied absentmindedly. He stopped listening around the third rule they said he had to follow. It was mostly common sense anyways. Don’t touch the glass wall. Don’t get too close to the alien thing. Don’t make out with it. The usual. Okay maybe that last rule Dean made up out of boredom but he was really not good at listening sometimes.

The woman nodded, satisfied that Dean had heard her instructions. His brother knew him like the back of his hand and to outsiders, Dean was attentive, but Sam knew better. Dean had stared at the woman, nodding along at random intervals, his eyes slightly glazed over. He seemed to be humming Metallica under his breath, and Sam shook his head in exasperation before dragging his brother to the chambers.

Once they arrived, they were stripped down, then sanitized, and lastly shoved into hazmat suits. Dean had commented on the fact that everyone always wanted him naked in some way, and after sending a lascivious wink to one of the workers, Sam shoved him out of the sanitation room. Dean had made a token protest when they tried to take away his gun but Sam gave him a warning look. He glared back, lips pulled back into a snarl and not willing to let go of his only piece of protection against an alien. Eventually, he relented, but not before grumbling a few pointed curses under his breath.

Dean didn’t know what to expect. Maybe a brightly lit, pure white lab room like one of those sci-fi TV shows. Or maybe even a floating tank with bubbles of some sort.

Instead, when the massive metal doors slid open, what he got was a dark, gigantic room. He wasn’t even over exaggerating this time, it was so big they could’ve easily fit an airplane in here. The only thing in there was a glass wall that spanned from floor to ceiling and beyond that glass wall was...nothing.

Nothing but mist.

The group of three walked towards the glass wall, Dean acutely aware that even though it felt like they were isolated, there were cameras everywhere observing the whole event. His steps were heavy and measured, his hands twitching for a gun that he wasn’t carrying. Even though both Sam and the research team had assured him it was safe, he still found himself analyzing the room, trying to find all the exits and entrances. Unfortunately there was only one, the doorway they’d just come through in. It made him feel trapped and he slowly licked his dry lips, his breath coming in shallow pants.

There were several spotlights pointed towards the glass wall and the piercing light reflected against the mist gathered beyond it. It gave the mist a weird shimmering sheen, almost like specks of jewels swirling in the air. He squinted at it, trying to decipher what was behind the wall. It was probably his eyes playing tricks on him, after all, it was just mist.

Kevin, who really looked like a nerdy kid straight out of high school, started setting up his camera on a tripod, pointing it towards the glass wall. He stopped several feet behind them at his designated spot as Sam and Dean continued approaching the wall.

Dean waited until they were standing in front of the red line painted onto the floor with “Do not cross!” written across it before he started complaining.

“Sam there’s nothing here,” Dean groaned loudly as he turned on his brother, irritated. “I swear if this is just some elaborate joke of yours I’ll-”

“Dean I wouldn’t do that to you.” Sam looked serious enough that Dean knew he wasn’t lying. “That mist is the alien creature we found.”

Dean stared at Sam for a few blank moments before glancing at the swirling mist dubiously. He had to admit, it was a more pearlescent color than normal fog and maybe it swirled in unnatural patterns but that still didn’t make the fog an _alien_.

“You sure your research team wasn’t just desperate for some extraterrestrial activity and made this up? Maybe projecting a little?” Dean pursed his lips, observing the almost hypnotizing way the fog danced. “And besides if this thing,” He gestured at it with his hand, conveniently ignoring the fact that the mist seemed to freeze in place for a moment before continuing its calming swirling when his arm accidentally crossed the red line. “Is an alien how did you even contain it?”

“Well…” Sam’s face was troubled, as he too glanced at the fog. “We actually didn’t have to try very hard. Our research team has ways to detect things that come from outer space and the reading was off the charts in this area. It was just an empty field with nothing but a layer of fog so we figured the thing must be underground but through all our digging we didn’t find anything…”

He bit his lips, meeting Dean’s gaze again as he spoke. “We thought it might have been debris from space, which we would have been more than satisfied with but this was, in fact, a sentient being. The first time the mist tried to communicate with us it was by projecting an image into our minds. That’s when we realized that the _mist_ was the alien. We built the entire building around it and it didn’t resist. It doesn’t move much except to swirl in one place repeatedly or drift aimlessly but it never goes far. This place may be temporary but it’s held it well enough.”

“So...you’re telling me you’re not even sure if this alien is really contained?” Dean asked as his eyebrows shot up to his hairline, almost bewildered at the fact that they were so reckless. “I mean seriously how do you guys know it’s captured if it has never tried to escape before?”

  
Sam shrugged helplessly at that. “We don’t. But this was too big of an opportunity to pass up and the higher ups decided the risk was worth it.”

“This is not making me feel any safer here…” Dean muttered as he turned to fully face the alien, grimacing. “Does it have a name?”

“We call it C.A.S.,” Sam answered sheepishly, feeling Dean’s narrowed eyes on him even as he focused on the alien. “I know it sounds dumb for something so...amazing. But it’s an acronym for Celestial Alien Species. It’s structural signature resembles some samples of alien readings that we’ve gathered over the years. Usually they show up when miracles happen. Thus the ‘godly’ part of their name.”

  
“Cas…” Dean quietly said. “It’s not a bad name for something so sparkly and pretty. Do you think its human form would be a hot chick?” Dean continued, waggling his eyebrows up and down and leering at Sam.

Sam gagged at that, glaring at his brother. “Ugh Dean stop it. We don’t even know if it’s able to manifest itself into a human form yet. That is something we are not prepared for.” Sam paused, pulling himself taller as he put on what Dean called his “smarty pants voice”, but it was really the voice he used for professional events. “Alright. We brought you here for a reason. Try communicating with it.”

“Do I just…” He brought his hand up and wiggled his fingers a bit, glancing helplessly at his brother then at the fog. “Wave at it or…?” Dean felt lost and out of his element. He was a mechanic and canoodling with aliens was way outside of his pay grade. Hell, he wasn’t even being paid for this. Those stingy government pricks.

Sam exhaled loudly, rolling his eyes. “No Dean, you have to walk past this red line to communicate with it. We’re about thirty feet away right now and that seems to be the maximum range Cas has when it comes to sensing us. There’ll be another similar red line once you get closer and that one will be the ten foot warning line. Sometimes communicating with Cas can be...overwhelming and we’ve found ten feet away was the optimal distance.”

“You’re not coming with me?” Dean asked, biting his lips and eyes darting to the alien then back down to the red line. Hesitantly, he lifted up a foot, preparing himself to both physically and mentally cross a line into unknown territory.

“Relax, Dean. You’ll be fine. Cas is pretty harmless. He doesn’t like communicating with more than one person at a time. He’s a bit of an anti-social like that.” Sam’s lips quirked to one side, mostly joking. “I’ll be right here watching everything, ok? If anything happens we’ll pull you out.”

“Okay…” Dean eyed the line dubiously before walking right over it. The instant he did, something within the mist seemed to brighten and the fog swirled in increasing speeds. Dean didn’t know how, but he could tell that Cas was very excited to see him.

Reassured by his brother’s words, Dean slowly approached Cas like he would a spooked animal, trying very hard to ignore how the fog was still swirling and sparkling at high speeds.

He stopped at the ten foot mark and stared hard at the room beyond the glass wall, squinting at the fog that seemed to brighten and darken in pulsating motions.

“So hey, I’m Dean-” Suddenly he was hit with this feeling of elation, so powerful he stumbled back a little with a surprised “Woah!” as he felt his mind go completely blank.

“Dean!” Sam called out, his voice slightly frantic and body tensed, ready to help his brother at any time. He barely stopped himself from stepping over the line, body twitching forward involuntarily. “You okay?”

  
“Yeah. I’m fine. don’t worry about it.” Dean yelled back, waving a hand at his brother dismissively. “You just didn’t warn me about the projecting emotions part of Cas’ superpowers.”

“You felt his emotions?” Sam asked, surprised but also obviously vibrating with excitement. “Dean, he’s never done that! We’ve only ever able to see brief images, never anything that vivid.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.” Dean muttered as he blinked his eyes a few times to get rid of the spots. There was an apologetic almost soothing sensation tickling the back of his brain, once he recovered enough to notice it.

Dean noticed that the mist had stopped moving, almost hovering nervously.

“It’s fine dude. Maybe next time don’t overwhelm me like that? It was a bit too intense for my little human self.” He felt like Cas was somehow contrite and though it didn’t make sense for him to find the alien adorable, it was kind of cute in a clumsy pet-like way, like a puppy whose paws were too big. He still didn’t know if Cas understood him, but suddenly he was enveloped with a sensation of safety and warmth. It overwhelmed him and he felt so content that it was hard for him to stay standing, knees a bit weak. For some reason he knew it was Cas’ way of apologizing.

“I said it’s fine, man. But maybe lessen up on the magic feeling thing. I’d rather have a clear head while I talk to you and that whole alien mojo is making me really loopy.” Dean may have liked the feeling but that didn’t mean he should.

Instantly the presence in his mind backed off and he was left feeling bereft and cold. He almost wanted to beg Cas to come back but he refrained.

“So let’s start with some basic questions. I’m obviously from Earth. Where are you from?”

Dean was hit with a much less intense version of the communication from before. It was an almost calming sensation, not as erratic as the sudden burst of feelings he’d received previously. He was shown a picture of space, galaxies swirling aimlessly and stars twinkling in the background.

“Yeah I get that you’re from space but where? What planet?”

Again, Dean was sent an image of space, this one only slightly different but still just a whole bunch of nothingness. Perplexed, Dean hazarded a guess.

“So you’re trying to say you’re from space? Like you live in the cosmos or something?”

There was an almost fond nudge of confirmation and he took that as agreement.

“Cool. So you just kind of...float around like this,” Dean cleared his throat, he was starting to realize that he was in fact communicating with an actual honest to god alien and though he was keeping his calm now, he knew he would freak the fuck out later. “What is your purpose for coming here?”

At that question, the fog seemed to droop, slowly drifting closer to the ground. This time, Dean’s answer was a series of images.

It blinked by in less than a second but to Dean it was almost like he was watching a full movie. There was destruction, screaming and pain. The earth split apart. Darkness boiled out and over from the wound and spread across the land. Consuming everything in its path, feeling nothing but glee in doing so and in less than a day there would be nothing left. Earth would cease to exist.

Dean gasped, tears in his eyes threatening to spill over from the devastating loss he had only felt an echo of. “What…?” Somehow he knew that this wasn’t a threat, but a warning from Castiel. The images had been shown with no malicious intent, rather with a sense of urgency behind it. This was what would happen, and there was nothing Dean could do to stop it.

Not unless he pried an answer from Cas.

Ignoring Sam’s shout of warning, Dean snarled, his face twisted with preemptive grief as he crossed the forbidden red line and stalked right up to the glass wall.

“How do I stop it? Tell me! You came here for a reason right? If you’re not here to help us then it would have been better for us to have never known. Is this our fate?”

The fog swirled quickly and then suddenly stilled, thinning in some places and condensing in others.

Dean, blinking hard to clear his eyes from the tears, finally looked up when he heard the startled gasp from Sam.

What he saw was a...torso? Yes, right in front of his very eyes was a body of some sort, blurred out on the edges and fading in and out in random intervals. The whole form had an almost greenish blue tint to it, shimmering in some places. It wasn’t until he glanced up that he noticed the giant head attached to said torso. Dean noticed that Cas was distinctly male, with a mop of dark hair on his head.

Dean would deny under gun point that he yelped loudly at the sight, but he stumbled back a few steps, trying to get a look at the entire being in front of him.

“What the hell!” Dean cried out, shaken out of his anger by the sight before him. Cas seemed only slightly solid where his upper body was and mostly corporeal where his head and hands were. Dean thanked whatever god could hear him that the fog still mostly covered everything. It would be very uncomfortable if he had a giant alien dick made of mist in front of his face. When he recovered enough, he approached it, despite the warning signs blaring in his head.

Dean felt...like he knew him. There was something familiar about Cas and a part of him ached with longing.

The creature, Cas, seemed to be leaning over, one hand supporting his weight while his other hand hovered uncertainly against the glass. He was probably around 4 meters tall, the height of an elephant. Dean stepped back a little, his lips turning down as he realized just how large the alien was.

His eyes were shining beacons of light and it should’ve scared Dean but it only made him feel safe. Dean was confused, brows furrowing in concentration as he stared at the alien. He cocked his head to the side, trying to figure out why the alien had suddenly changed into a human form.

After much consideration, he had an inkling that Cas had responded to his distress by trying to comfort him in the only way he knew Dean would respond to, a human body rather than an incorporeal mass of mist.

He shot a look at Sam over his shoulder, not sure if this was a common occurrence or if he should start running away screaming. His brother seemed to be in shock though, eyes widened in awe, body frozen in place.

Against his better judgement, Dean stepped close to the glass again and tentatively reached out. Cas seemed to understand what he wanted and on the other side of the glass, he reached out as well, his see-through pointer finger stretching to meet Dean’s.

Dean’s logic was that if this worked for E.T. it would work for him. No matter how much that creepy bastard scared him when he was a child.

The moment they touched, even through the glass, Dean was hit with an intense sense of comfort that quickly morphed into staggering amount of feelings all at once. He tried to sift through them as quickly as he could. There was a deep well of sadness within Cas, but, more than that, it was connected to a feeling of emptiness and longing. There was the more recent feelings of elation, euphoria at finally finding his other half, and that finally he wouldn’t be alone. He would be complete. There was pride at how beautiful and bright Dean was and worry at the fact that he was living on this dangerous planet with its tentative future.

But those weren’t Dean’s thoughts…? He was slipping. It was almost like he was Cas and it scared a small part of him, the part that was buried under this ancient deluge of thoughts and emotions.

Distantly, he heard his brother and the other researcher shout out in alarm and run towards him. Dean tried to stay up under this onslaught of emotions, his eyes brightening until a whitish glow was shooting out of them.

Some barrier seemed to break within him and suddenly he was-

He was everything.

He could feel the molecules in the air. He could taste the light. He could hear the mountains shift and the stars align. He inhaled and when he exhaled it was with a burst of stardust and the coldness of space. The physical body he inhabited was so...miniscule. So unnecessary in the long run when he would return to his origins and become a part of the cosmos again. It was almost freeing, knowing he had a place he belonged to in this large, desolate existence. The emptiness inside of him that he always tried so hard to ignore felt full.

A part of him grasped at anything it could hold on to, trying to focus, gasping and drowning. It was too much but not enough, he felt complete and yet-

He screamed.

It was so painful, he could feel the blood coming out of his ears. Dean sobbed in relief when hands grabbed his numb body and dragged him away from the alien.

The last conscious thought he had wasn’t even his own. It was a mournful cry of “ _Dean,_ ” the word forming in his mind on the edge of darkness before he blacked out.

xxxxxx

The first thing Dean was aware of was the incessant beeping noise right next to his ears. It was very annoying and all he wanted to do was sleep for a week. He didn’t even know why he was so damn sore.

Then it all came rushing back.

The madness of the creepy Vulcan mind meld with Cas, the feelings he’d experienced, and the resulting pain from the overwhelming sensations.

He opened his eyes slowly, noticing that it was light outside and that someone was asleep in the chair next to him. He tried turning his head but it only caused him more pain and he groaned, loud enough to startle awake whoever it was in the chair.

“Dean!” Sam cried out worriedly as he quickly got a cup of water and fed the straw into Dean’s dry mouth.

Ah, of course it was his brother. Who was he expecting? It wasn’t like he had many friends or family.

After drinking as much water as he could without choking, Sam put down the water again and asked how he was feeling.

“Like I got hit by a truck.” Dean rasped out, tired but feeling better by the minute. “What happened?”

At that question, Sam looked at him carefully, eyes crinkled worriedly. “I was going to ask you that question. Physically, the doctors said that there will be no lasting damage. It seems that whatever Cas did to you wasn’t damaging but rather exhausted you. You’re in a state of fatigue right now, thus the lack of strength in your limbs but you’ll be back to normal by tomorrow. You might still be a bit sore though.”

There was a short silence as Dean absorbed this information, glad that his condition wasn’t as bad as he felt.

“Dean…I’m sorry.” Dean sat up at those words, sighing as he leaned against the mound of pillows he’d pushed towards the headboard.

“You don’t need to apologize, Sam.” Dean ran a hand down his face, tired but still trying to come to terms with what had happened.

His brother was staring down at his hands, folded in his lap. He looked contrite and more than a little guilty.

“I swear, Dean, if I knew Cas was going to attack you I wouldn’t have-”

“Wait what?” Dean interrupted, brows furrowing in confusion. He scowled, hating that the scientists had jumped to conclusions but also understanding why they did. “Cas didn’t attack me.”

Now, it was Sam’s turn to look surprised, his mouth falling open slightly. “What do you mean? He clearly harmed you.” Sam said, gesturing to Dean’s currently weak and prone form.

“No dude, I honestly don’t think he meant me any harm. I think that when I communicated with him so closely my human body couldn’t handle it and went into overdrive. He felt pretty bad about it.” Dean looked away, eyes unfocusing as he recalled his interactions with the alien. Even though he wasn’t sure if he hallucinated it or not, the sorrowful way Castiel had cried out his name haunted him.

Sam took a moment to process the information before he clenched his jaws, his expression resolute. “It doesn’t matter. Our team will be relieved to know that Cas wasn’t showing aggression, but your involvement in this case ends now. He went too far and we pushed you too hard by letting you in on this. Once you’re discharged I’ll continue my research and you’ll continue your normal life and we’ll put this behind us.”

“What? No!” Dean yelled out, making Sam jump a bit at the sudden vehemence in his words. Something in Dean ached, knowing that he wouldn’t see Cas again. He couldn’t let that happen. He knew that he couldn’t just leave things as is, with Cas feeling sad and guilty about hurting him. He just knew the alien was probably beating himself up over the incident and being sulky. Dean had gotten a pretty good sense of how Cas was, and what he gathered was that the alien was a gentle, kind entity but a warrior all the same.

Besides, Dean still wasn’t sure if he should tell the research team about what Cas showed him. It felt like something he should keep to himself for now. It would probably cause mass panic if he revealed the whole apocalypse situation.

Almost like he knew what Dean was thinking about, Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Dean, you can’t just choose to stay in the project. We’re saying you can’t. End of story. You’ll submit a report of your findings, describe the experience and what you saw with one of our researchers and move on. The confidentiality agreement you signed in the beginning will guarantee you can not speak about this to anyone not associated with the project.”

At Sam’s words Dean scowled, crossing his arms in defiance. Dean knew his brother was being really stubborn right now, mostly out of worry for him, and that he wouldn’t budge no matter how much Dean pushed. He would just have to bide his time before mentioning it again. Dean needed to see Cas again, it was like an ache in his soul.

“Alright.” Dean agreed, even as he secretly plotted, hiding the smirk on his lips with a fake yawn. Sam seemed relieved at his brother’s acquiesce and that made Dean feel a tiny bit of guilt at lying, but he was doing it for a good cause. More important than his urge to see Cas, he needed to pry some more information out of the alien. Anything that could help him stop the coming disaster and inevitable fate of their world. He shuddered, remembering the taste of despair vividly and his brother quickly got up to get him another blanket, mistaking it for cold.

It didn’t matter, in the end he would get his way.

xxxxxx

Dean did not, in fact, get what he wanted. He’d tried the usual tactics. He’d been nicer than usual to Sammy and his brother had squinted at him suspiciously but had happily accepted all the sudden attention and delicious food he was getting. When he broached the topic of visiting Cas again he was shut down hard, saying that it wasn’t just his decision, that the research team was also against Dean visiting.

It went on like that for a while until Dean started sulking, working on the car of his newest client almost angrily as he huffed and puffed. It wasn’t fair, he wanted to see Cas and his brother was being a dick about it. Well in all honesty, Sam was just protecting him but it didn’t grate any less.

Dean sighed. He just wanted to see Cas. If he wasn’t so consumed by his need to see the alien, he’d be concerned about how determined he was to see Cas, but to him it just felt right.

When he’d been interviewed by the research team he’d only given vague surface details of the communications between himself and Cas. Sam had tried to pry more detailed answers out of him but he’d deflected, saying that there wasn’t anything more to tell. The truth was that a part of him was scared of the connection they’d shared. That somehow, out of all the billions of people on Earth, Dean felt the most strongly for someone not even of this world. It was almost like he’d found a piece of himself he’d lost long ago and didn’t know he was missing it until he’d met Cas. Now that he was aware of the emptiness inside him, it hurt not being able to see the alien.

He’d tried asking Sam how communicating with Cas felt like, wondering if everyone who talked to Cas felt the same overwhelming intense emotions. Sam’s answer had very obviously highlighted to him that the rest of the researchers did not feel a strong connection like he had. He didn’t know what to think. He wanted to believe that he wasn’t imagining these feelings, that he was special. He’d felt the way Cas cared about him, to a bottomless extent that even he was slightly terrified of. What he’d felt from Cas...it felt like love and devotion, emotions so strong that Dean couldn’t fathom why the alien felt that way about him. They’d literally never met, so why was it that Cas seemed to know him from the inside out?

He had so many questions and his normal day-to-day life seemed dull compared to the possibilities that Cas presented to him. He wanted to know the alien better, he wanted to ask him why he cared so much.

But Dean also knew that he needed to get his shit together.

With a frustrated growl, Dean set down the tool he’d been using for the last hour, trying to fix the engine on the car. Wiping his sweaty face with the rag he set nearby, he tipped his head back, taking deep breaths as he let the wind cool down his body.

He would move on. There was nothing else he could do. If Sam wasn’t giving in then he couldn’t force it. Though it pained him, he would be mature about this and forget about the whole incident.

At the thought of just forgetting Cas, locked in a room to be poked and prodded by researchers, his heart hurt. Ignoring that pain and longing was the first step, and it would take him a hell of a lot of time but he’d manage it. He’d repressed worse.

Somehow, a small part of him argued that he would never be able to forget Cas. He didn’t argue back.

xxxxxx

It was months of living life like clockwork, settling back into his usual routine when Sam came in looking resigned and said he needed to speak to him.

Dean looked up from where he had just finished cooking dinner and set the food on the table, his brother gratefully taking a seat and inhaling the first few bites.

“What’s up?” Dean asked, shoveling the food into his mouth as well. Since Dean and Sam had grown up virtually without parents they’d never cared much about table manners.

Sam’s happy sounds while eating the food petered out as he sighed and set down his utensils.

“Do you remember Cas?”

At those words, Dean froze for a second before continuing to eat, trying to look nonchalant and not at all interested in Sam’s words. His heart beat faster in his chest just hearing about the alien.

Dean cleared his throat, aiming for casual but missing by miles.

“Yeah I do.”

“Well,” Sam ruffled a hand through his hair, blowing the longer strands out of his face as he leaned back in his chair. “Against my better judgement and opposition, I was outvoted and my team wants to recruit you back in to work with Cas. This time you’ll be paid, and it’s quite a lot of money.”

Dean didn’t even need to think about it. He knew he would agree right away but something about this situation didn’t sit right with him.

“Why are you guys letting me back in now? I thought that your research team was against my involvement.” Dean squinted suspiciously at Sam, slowly spearing the food on his fork as he waited for an explanation.

Sam looked sheepish at that and didn’t meet his brother’s eyes. “I may have...stretched the truth a little. The only people in the team really against you continuing communications with Cas was me and Kevin, who witnessed first hand the consequences of interacting with Cas.”

“What the hell Sam? So you just selfishly kept me away when I was more than willing to help?” Dean growled out, annoyance rising in him.

“I was trying to keep you safe, Dean!” Sam protested, putting down his utensils, appetite lost.

Dean rolled his eyes, eating a few more mouthfuls of food, chewing harshly. “Well, I don’t need your protection. Cas isn’t going to hurt me.”

“You know what happened last time you went in-”

“That was an accident Sam! That poor guy didn’t know how strong his powers were and yes, maybe he went overboard a little with the alien mojo but in the end I was fine.” Dean protested, getting up and putting his dishes in the sink so he wouldn’t have to look at Sam.

“I know Dean,” Sam replied earnestly, as he also put his dishes next to Dean’s. “But next time the accident might have worse negative consequences and I can’t risk losing you. You’re the only family I have left.”

Dean felt the fight deflate out of him at Sam’s words, closing his eyes and bracing his hands against the cold metal of the sink. He could feel the warmth of his brother next to him and it comforted him, even amidst their argument.

“Sammy, think about how I feel, now that I know and have experienced first hand what you deal with at work. The next time something happens it might happen to you and you don’t see me stopping you from doing your job. I know there are risks. There are risks to every job and if you enjoy it then I won’t be there to tell you no.” Dean turned to look into his brother’s eyes, hoping that he would agree with him. “I only ask that you let me talk to Cas again. I’m willing to take the same risks you are.”

“Yeah I-” Sam sighed, running a tired hand through his hair, the emotions from earlier taxing on his already exhausted body. “I know, I won’t fight your decision anymore.”

There was silence for a few moments as both brothers took the momentary peace to recuperate. It always hurt both of them when they fought or argued and they hated doing it, but sometimes it was needed.

Finally, Dean broached the questions that’d been swimming in his mind. “So, why exactly did you agree now? And why is your research team so adamant about it?”

As if remembering something unpleasant, Sam’s face scrunched up. “Well, after you left, Cas was devastated. I don’t even know how or why the alien could even feel sadness but he was very depressed. He seemed to drift less excitedly than usual and no matter how often we asked him if he could show us his human form, he would ignore us. When we tried to ask him questions or talk to him he’d just send images of you over and over again, requesting your presence. He seems dead set on not talking to anyone but you. He’s being incredibly stubborn about it, for a captive alien.” Sam seemed fond of Cas, chuckling slightly in amusement when he recalled how Cas sadly drifted around the chamber.

Dean raised a brow at that, wondering if maybe Cas had missed him just as much as he’d missed the alien.

“Well great, I’m ready when you are. When can I see him?”

Sam rolled his eyes, giving Dean a bitch face at his brother’s enthusiasm.

“Calm down, Dean we’re not going now. It’s almost 11 pm. Let’s sleep tonight and I’ll take you there tomorrow morning and you can finally see Cas. The longing was getting too much for me too, both on your side and on Cas’.”

Dean spluttered at Sam’s teasing words and stomped to his bedroom, getting ready to sleep. He couldn’t wait till tomorrow.

xxxxxx

Bright and early the next day, Dean was more chipper than his brother, who was usually a morning person. Sam grumbled about over enthusiastic annoying brothers as he yawned and pulled himself into the driver's seat of his van. Dean still made fun of his vehicle but it was fine, at least the van had more room for his long legs instead of Dean’s Impala where he always felt way too claustrophobic in.

The drive over was filled with Dean’s humming and the steady melodies of Dean’s preferred rock music.

When they arrived, they were met with a group of people in white lab coats who basically walked him through the same rules they’d told him last time.

“We wanted to apologize for what happened last time you were here, and we want to thank you for agreeing to this again.” Naomi, whom Dean now recognized as the lead researcher he’d spoken to before, led him to the same room where he was to be changed into a hazmat suit. “We’ve put extra precautions this time and we’ll definitely be observing everything. Unfortunately, the size of the room doesn’t allow audio recordings but we’ll make sure you’re safe through visuals. Though, we’ll have to ask you to respect our rules this time and stay ten feet away from the glass.” Naomi gave him a warning look and Dean winked and threw a lascivious grin her way, ever the rule breaker.  
  
“Kevin and Sam will be accompanying you again.” Dean nodded at Kevin who gave Dean a nervous smile and a worried look before changing. They stepped into the chamber, and Dean couldn’t help the grin that overtook his face when he saw that familiar mist. It took all the willpower within him to refrain from running right up to the glass. He could see now what Sam had meant by droopy floating. The mist was closer to the ground than usual and seemed to drift in slow lethargic patterns. He felt sad just looking at it.

Once he hit the thirty feet mark he nodded to his brother who stood on the red line, and to Kevin who was a few feet back setting up the cameras again. Before he could cross the line, he felt a hand grab his arm and turned back around to face his brother impatiently.

“Remember Dean, stay ten feet away.” Sam repeated, a worried frown marring his pretty face as his hand tightened on Dean’s arm.

“Of course, Sammy.” Dean grinned, his face mischievous which didn’t inspire confidence in Sam. With one last reluctant look Sam sighed and let go. Dean quickly crossed the line, eager to meet Cas again.

The moment he did the fog burst into motion, sharp flashes of light exploding within the mist every once in awhile almost like muted fireworks. Dean laughed, feeling just as exhilarated to be near Cas again. He did heed the rule though, and stopped at the ten feet line even if he wanted to be closer.

“Cas, hi, it’s me again.” Dean gave a nervous smile, the last time he’d seen Cas was in less than ideal circumstances, him in pain and all. His hands were shaking a little from the adrenaline, his heart beating faster. This was only their second meeting and already he was heavily affected by the alien’s presence.

As if responding to his words, the fog shimmered for a moment before a notable vibration spread from it and Cas’ human form materialized before his eyes. Dean gaped at the visage that Cas presented. From a farther vantage point than before, Dean could see that Cas was indeed tall, and his body looked ghostly in the spotlights. Cas slowly leaned over and, though his facial expression didn’t change, Dean could tell that Cas was smiling. He could feel it in the warm happiness that coursed through him, the feeling similar to a pleasant bath. He was getting better at distinguishing which emotions and thoughts weren’t his, now that he seemed to know Cas better.

“It’s good to see you again.” Dean grinned widely now, his eyes crinkling on the edges.

Cas seemed to fade a little before his eyes at his words, and he could feel the mournful regret Cas had about the incident when they first met. It was like a wake up call, a cold splash of water on his face.

“ _Dean,_ ” The word echoed in his mind, much like before with a sad tone and Dean gasped, not expecting actual words. He thought he’d imagined Castiel speaking, when he’d been too out of it to really register what was going on. “ _I’m sorry._ ”

“Oh….woah. Don’t worry about it. You’re more than forgiven it was an accident. But hey since when can you speak? Well I guess telepathically talk.” Dean amended, his fascination peaking as his eyes roved over the alien’s form. He may not be a scientist like his brother but this was some pretty cool shit. It seemed the alien was constantly evolving.

Cas solidified more in front of his eyes, happy to talk to Dean. _“I learned it after they took you from me. I wanted to apologize and explain myself in the event that I ever saw you again._ ”

“So...you could’ve talked to the researchers all this time and you didn’t? Wow, Cas that’s cold.” Dean joked, curious as to why the alien chose now to reveal his new neat trick.

“ _I wanted you. Not them. I wished to speak to you._ ” Cas voice was like a soothing rumble in his head and though it wasn’t physical, the voice held power. Something in him could sense it. “ _And you keep referring to me with that word. ‘Cas’. Why is that?_ ”

Dean’s eyes widened in mortification when he realized he’s just been calling the alien Cas without properly asking for his name. God, he was such a rude ass.

“Oh...I probably should’ve asked for your name.” Dean replied sheepishly, ducking his head in apology. “Cas is what the research team and I have been calling you. It’s an acronym for your people. C.A.S. for Celestial Alien Species. What’s your actual name though?”

“ _My name is unpronounceable in human tongues. The closest enunciation would be Castiel. So Cas works just fine._ ”

Dean smiled at that, grateful for the coincidence and similarity of the acronym to Cas’ full name. “Again, I'm sure the other researchers called you Cas as well. You could've asked them why if you were so curious.”

“ _I told you. I wanted you, not them._ ”

Dean gestured to himself a bit stiffly, not sure what to make of Cas’ seeming fascination with him, even if it was reciprocated. “Well I’m here now, what did you want to tell me?”

Cas seemed to lean closer at his words, his head tilting before a wispy hand came up to rest against the glass, as if he wanted to touch Dean. The mist was constantly shifting, parts of Cas fading into mist while other parts gathered the mist and solidified to keep his human shape.

“ _I want to apologize for my actions the first time we met. I should have controlled myself better and my inability to keep my emotions in check caused you harm._ ” Cas stared at Dean with those bottomless eyes, voice grave.

“It’s fine.” Dean shrugged. Somehow he knew Cas would feel guilty about the incident. “It looked way worse than it actually was. Don’t worry. I don’t break that easily.” Dean said confidently, throwing Cas his usual smirk and placating him with his casual humor.

It didn’t seem to work, and though Cas’ expression remained stoic, his words had a heavy undertone of worry and sadness in them. The weight of it almost unbearable in his mind.

“ _You do break easily, Dean. Humans are very fragile creatures._ ”

“So you say, but I’m still here and alive.” Dean pressed his lips into a thin line, not liking the sudden serious turn in their conversation.

Cas shakes his head at that, a sound that must have been a sigh echoing in Dean’s head.

“ _But for how much longer? Your world is dying, Dean, and I’m here to save you from it. You need not share the same fate as your people._ ”

There were so many questions Dean wanted to ask, like what the images Cas had showed him meant. How much time they had left and most importantly how to stop it. But he couldn’t help himself when he blurted out-

“Why me?” Dean immediately cursed himself slightly under his breath. The world was going to end and here he was being a selfish prick asking about himself.

The question seemed to please Cas though and he could almost physically feel the delight the alien exuded in his mind.

“ _You are mine and I am your’s, Dean. We share a profound bond. But most of all, you deserve to be saved._ ”

Dean could feel his throat clogging up at the unknown emotion rising inside him, this one his own. It was gratitude, confusion, and longing. Dean wasn’t sure what he did to deserve Cas’ high regards but he wasn’t worth it.

He cleared his throat, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tried to get a grip on his emotions. “No, Cas, I’d rather you tell me how to save the planet. I’m not leaving here without at least trying to help everyone and I sure as hell am not leaving even if our world is doomed. This is where I belong and it will be where I make my grave.”

Dean paused, before narrowing his eyes at Cas, crossing his arms. “Besides, I barely met you and this whole ‘mine’ and ‘your’s’ thing sounds a little too heavy for near strangers like us.” Dean was firm in his decision, a choice he knew Cas didn’t approve of, but begrudgingly understood.

“ _Dean,_ ” The word whispered through his mind and Dean couldn’t help the shiver he felt. Something about the way Cas said his name in reverence disturbed him, but also left him feeling embarrassed and happy. It felt like he was being cherished. “ _I think it would be better, to explain from the beginning. Then, you can decide whether you wish to stay or leave. Whichever decision you make, know that in the end, I will always follow you._ ” Cas’ words were somber, the promise in them irrefutable and Dean knew, in the depths of his soul, that if he chose to stay on Earth Cas would follow him to death. He didn’t know why and it frustrated him. Why was Cas so dead set on Dean? Why him?

Dean carefully sat down on the floor, his hazmat suit crinkling as he settled in for the long haul for what was probably a long story. Maybe this time he would get some answers.

“ _Many eons ago, we were the first of creation._ ” Cas began, voice a steady rumble as he explained the history of his people and their purpose. As Dean listened, he grew increasingly stunned, a tension building in his body.

Turns out Castiel and his kind were created from literal stardust, in the beginning when the universe was nothing but specks of scattered dust. They’d formed into separate entities with individual characteristics that developed over time. Mostly, they floated in space, communicating much like he did with Dean, through thoughts and pictures. They existed in peace for many years. So many, in fact, that they noticed life was starting to form on the little rocks around them and space was brighter with all the new stars forming. Out of curiosity, they visited those places, not interacting with the life there but instead observing. Earth was one of the ones they visited.

Unfortunately with life came death and soon, some of his brethren became mad without a sense of purpose and they started cannibalizing each other, eating other stardust to fill the gaping void inside of them. They became darkened versions of the once bright, shimmering stardusts and they travelled constantly, consuming all life.

“ _I think that those Fallen are known as ‘black holes’ on your planet._ ” Cas mentioned as an aside, when he paused in his narrative.

“You’re telling me that black holes are sentient?!” Dean yelped, swallowing harshly in fear. “As if they’re not bad enough they’re also able to think. Oh god.”

“ _You need not worry about that, before they started consuming their kin the gaping void inside of them consumed them first. From the inside out they were destroyed. The Fallen are no more than ravenish hungering entities, barely capable of coherent thought. They are merely shadows of their former selves._ ”

But they were powerful and that was what gave the surviving stardust beings a sense of purpose. Ironically, the Fallen who fell out of a lack of purpose, ended up giving the Celestials a purpose and a mission. Every stardust the Fallen absorbed, they grew in power. If left unchecked, the Fallen would consume the universe. Castiel and his brethren took it upon themselves to hunt down all of the Fallen and put them to rest.

“So what you’re saying is that the darkness you showed me…” Dean stared at Cas, unseeing as he recalled the horrifying images Castiel had shown him.

“ _Yes, it was one of the Fallen, though it is a severely weakened one. My commanders have deduced that this was Leviathan, a Fallen we’ve fought with before, but hid itself within Earth’s core in a dormant state when it managed to escape. Then, over the years, Earth formed around it and now that it’s sufficiently healed, it will awaken and return to its destructive ways. I was only sent here on a recon mission, but when I felt your soul...I couldn’t leave. I had to see you._ ”

“I don’t understand.” Dean muttered, his frustration showing in his clenched jaw. He looked up, gaze determined and hard. “You’ve mentioned that we have some sort of bond and you seem to know me. Why is that?” Dean wanted desperately an answer to this question. He’s been perplexed this whole time and though it was important to learn more about the potential apocalypse, he also wanted to know…that maybe the longing and connection he felt with Cas wasn’t one-sided.

There was a quiet, content hum in his head as Dean felt a surge of melancholy tinged with joy from Cas, as if the alien was remembering happier times.

“ _Human souls are smaller forms of our kind. We are made of an indeterminable amount of stardust but a human soul is merely one speck of stardust. You, however, are special. Your soul shines bright to me because of the large concentration of stardust you have in you. I have been searching for you for millenias, ever since I lost you. I’d given up hope, only to encounter you by chance. I want to believe we were always meant to find each other._ ” The fog shifted, as if reaching towards Dean, only to encounter the glass wall and gently float back down. Dean watched as it happened, trying to wrap his head around what he’d just been told.

“You….lost me? I don’t get it Cas.” Dean replied, frustrated and head spinning from all this life altering information. “Just tell me, what am I to you? And why are you so focused on me?”

Cas seemed to feel his impatience and indulged him, tone laced with an ancient pain. “ _In the beginning of time, we were once of the same stardust. You and I, we were together in a way that can’t be explained in human terms. We were truly one entity but separate in spirit and personality._ ”

The fog seemed to darken, dimming in places as Castiel’s human form dissipated a few times. Clearly, the alien was having a hard time focusing on holding his human form, the pain of these memories too great. “ _When the first of the Fallen appeared, it took us by surprise. One of our closest, our most trusted Lucifer, had Fallen and he took apart so many of us. It was unimaginably painful, to be separated from you. My brethren shared the same fate as I, and many of us feared the worst, that he’d consumed our other halves. Instead, he did something much crueler. He scattered all of you so far and wide that it would take near forever to find each other again._ ”

Cas gave him a steady look, his eyes unblinking but such agony in them that Dean couldn’t look away, breath stolen by the first physical expression Cas showed. His heart thudded in his chest, the pain near physical from how strongly Castiel exuded grief.

“ _In a way he gave us another purpose, one that had little chance of fulfillment and an eternity of suffering as we searched for our other halves. I believe, this is where the myth of soulmates originated from. Our unrelenting search and yearning was something many writers romanticized. Now, I have found you and I will not lose you again._ ” Castiel’s voice was fierce, a slight growl in them as if daring anyone to try and oppose him on this. “ _Whatever your choice, I will follow you. To death or beyond._ ”

Dean was speechless, mouth hanging open and breathing a little too fast to be normal. It was too much. Here he was, just Dean Winchester, and there was an all powerful being professing what was essentially his undying devotion for him. It was too much for him to comprehend. He wasn’t worth all this. Cas didn’t even know him! Castiel didn’t know about the guilt, the responsibilities weighing on him constantly.

Dean got up abruptly, almost tripping over his own limbs as he did. Suddenly it felt as if there wasn’t enough room to breathe, his head spinning.

“I-I need to go Cas. I’ll talk to you next time.” Dean spun on his heels, quickly walking back towards Sam who took a step forward with a worried expression.

“ _Dean,_ ” His name was spoken quietly but the emotion in it stopped him in his tracks and, without thinking, he turned back, glancing at Cas who had started slowly drifting back into an incorporeal form. “ _You don’t think you deserve to be saved._ ” The words were laced with the realization, the confusion and protectiveness that Cas felt.

The last image Dean had was of those piercing eyes, seeing through him, but still somehow accepting him for who he was at his core. He shuddered and walked a little faster, waving away Sammy’s concerns. There would be time for that later. For now he needed a good amount of whiskey to get him through the rest of the day.

xxxxxx

“Dean…” Sam’s voice was hesitant. Slow in its tempo, and with an undercurrent of brotherly worry.

“Can it, Sam.” Dean brusquely replied, suddenly fully concentrating on the game of pool he was playing. He took a swig of his beer, relishing the burn and feeling the warmth spread through the coldness he felt. “Your turn.”

Sam sighed but didn’t push, leaning over to hit the cue ball. Dean glanced around the bar, eyes sometimes stopping on the few women he felt attracted to. He knew at least one of them felt the same way about him. Dean knew he was quite the looker but, after the whole incident with Cas, he didn’t feel the same spark and excitement to flirt and seduce as before. Instead, he felt empty, a yearning in him increasing with every day he stayed away from Cas.

It’s been almost two weeks since the last visit, and all the life changing revelations that came with it. By now, he felt marginally better and comfortable enough to consider going back to the chamber. He still refused to talk to Sam about what happened though, his brother wouldn’t understand. He also knew that if Sammy found out the emotional roller coaster Cas put him through every time they met, he’d be banned from visiting the alien. He couldn’t risk that, no matter how much Cas’ words affected him every time.

Dean put his lip against the bottle in his hand, his eyes drifting in thought, taking a drink.

“I think I want to go see Cas tomorrow.”

Sam seemed to freeze for a moment, his gaze steadily focused on the pool balls before relaxing again. “Yeah?” He asked, aiming for nonchalant and missing by a mile. He seemed conflicted, glad that Dean was going to do something other than walk around in a moody silence all day but also concerned about his visits with Cas. It always seemed to leave Dean a little out of sorts and he wasn’t sure if it was the best idea to let Dean continue interacting with the alien. He was going to respect his brother’s decision though and if Dean thought he was okay with meeting Cas then he wouldn’t get in his way. “Okay I’ll inform them tonight so they’re ready for you when you come in tomorrow.”

Dean nodded, his expression determined and feeling better now that he wasn’t going to keep avoiding Cas. He was done running and it was time to actually talk to the alien, get to know him and understand him. He just hoped it wouldn’t be as emotional as the last visit.

xxxxxx

Dean walked into the chamber, Sam and Kevin trailing behind him as usual. The research team had greeted him excitedly, satisfied with the recordings of Dean and Cas’ interactions. Though they couldn’t hear what was being said, the visual aspect of it was enough to give them plenty to research, many of them trying to figure out what exactly Cas was composed of as he slipped in between corporeal and incorporeal with ease. They’d noticed that he seemed to prefer a human form when communicating with Dean, never solidifying when the research members tried to talk to him.  
  
There were more than a few whispers of the alien favoring him and even more jokes about Dean getting probed. He ignored all of them, opting to focus on his interactions with Cas.

This time, when he crossed over the thirty feet line, Cas was more subdued. The fog seemed to waft and falter in certain spots, as if unsure.

When Dean stood at the ten feet mark he looked at Cas for a moment, waiting for him to solidify into his human form. He didn’t.

Frowning, Dean called out. “Hey Cas. I’m back. Are you...okay?” The mist seemed to droop with his words and Dean had a distinct feeling that Cas was sad, the feeling weighing on his mind.

“ _Hello, Dean._ ” It was a soft whisper, more melancholic than usual. “ _I am alright. Are you okay? I...upset you last time._ ”  
  
Dean took a moment to collect his thoughts. Even now, Cas worried more about Dean’s feelings than about himself. The alien was strangely selfless and that was what helped Dean make his decision.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he straightened and looked the alien in the eyes, his fingers tapping a restless rhythm on his thighs. “I’ve thought about what you said. About us being soulmates.”

“ _Not soulmates Dean,_ ” Cas corrected patiently, slowly turning into his corporeal human form now that he felt Dean wasn’t upset with him. “ _But that is the closest descriptor in your language._ ”

“Well okay, pseudo soulmates then.” Dean paused, gathering his courage. “I think I’m okay with that. With us being....connected. I feel the same way but I just- I don’t know what to do with it, Cas.”

He bit his lips almost to the point of pain, trying to tether himself. “Where do we go from here? We’re not even the same species.”

Dean looked at Cas with troubled eyes and the alien placated him, with tranquil words.

“ _We go wherever you want and you are free to do with the information as you will. I am already satisfied, seeing you on occasion. I would love to have more time with you, of course, but that can come later. For now, what we have is enough. When you eventually pass away, your soul will be released from your body and we will be reunited. We have eternity ahead of us._ ” The alien seemed to brighten at those words, the mist floating leisurely.

Dean recoiled at the alien’s words, a scowl marring his expression. He didn’t like the flippancy Cas seemed to feel towards death.“Jesus, Cas. That’s morbid.”

Dean felt what seemed to be a mental shrug from Cas, a soft caress inside him. “ _It is what it is, Dean. Your physical body is but a vessel for your true self_.”

Dean shook his head, slightly appalled. “Cas I’m still me though, physical body and all. My ‘physical body’ is still a part of me and I don’t know about you but I don’t welcome death.”

Sensing that he’d upset Dean, Cas seemed to waver for a bit. “ _I apologize. I sometimes forget that humans have an attachment to their physical forms. It is...hard to understand that when I’ve been nothing more than a scattering of stardust and light for my entire existence. I do understand though, it is why it hurt me so much when you were ripped from me. You were a part of me and in a sense, your body is a part of you._ ”

“Thank you, for trying.” Dean said quietly, he appreciated that the alien was trying so hard for him, to understand him. It was flattering but it also made Dean feel like he was in over his head, the lengths the alien would go for him slightly disconcerting.

They stood in companionable silence for a while, staring at each other long enough that when Sam made a not-so-subtle cough, it startled Dean out of his peaceful daze.

Dean dropped the smile he wasn’t even aware he’d been wearing and cleared his throat, looking down and breaking their gaze.

“So...what can you tell me about yourself?” The moment the words left his mouth he cringed a little internally. That sounded like a first date question. What disturbed him more was how unbothered he was by that realization. He took a moment to let it sink in that he might have a weird feelings boner for Cas before shoving that deep into the back of his mind.

“ _There is not much to say that you don’t already know, Dean. I’ve existed for a long time. Mostly, I drifted, lost without you. Those were the worst years. Sometimes I fought with my garrison against the Fallen, leading squadrons of us. I am a warrior first and foremost._ ”

“Oh....” Dean murmured quietly as he absorbed the information. “You’ve fought for a long time then. How about before the fighting? What were we- what were you like?” Dean corrected himself hastily but Cas didn’t seem to mind, his mood brightening at the question.

Tone wistful, Cas sighed. “ _We were beautiful together. Many envied our dynamic. We danced among the stars and experienced all the wonders the universe had to offer. You were always more playful than me, stretching the rules and dragging me into explorations I otherwise would have deemed too risky. You gave me a purpose. You shined so bright and I was helpless to follow. When Lucifer took you from me,_ ” Castiel seemed to snarl at that, a darkness encroaching on Dean’s mind, the wrath of an ancient being.

Dean winced at the lance of pain, similar to a headache, and Cas quickly pulled back his anger, soothing the mental shove he’d given Dean. “ _My apologies. This is an old wound I...thinking about it makes me feel...lost. I was lost for so long without you Dean. You gave me direction and without it I drifted, aimlessly in the darkness of space. Do you know how vast the universe is? Without your light, it was a dull and lonely existence._ ”  
  
The depth of Castiel’s feelings for him was again overwhelming, the relationship he had with this other Dean daunting.

“I’m not him.” Dean quietly said, his voice rough as he tried to shrug off the feeling of inadequacy, of trying to live up to Cas’ expectations of him. In the wake of Cas’ love-filled descriptions of their past selves, it was clear to see that he wasn’t the one Castiel wanted.

Cas tilted his head, confused. “ _You are._ ”

“No, I mean,” Dean exhaled roughly, hand idly rubbing at the pant legs of the hazmat suit, a nervous tic. “I’m not that guy Cas. Whoever you were looking for, my past self or whatever, I don’t remember any of that. I’m me. I’m just Dean and this guy you’re describing sounds perfect for you but it’s not me.”

Cas seemed to be struck speechless at that, his form dissipating and re-forming at a steady rate.

“ _I...I don’t need you to be him, Dean. To me, you are still my other half. It doesn’t matter what form you take or what memories you possess I will always love you._ ”

“But what if I don’t love you?” Dean blurted out against his better judgement, his self-hatred polluting his mind yet again. “What if I never love you?” He didn’t voice his true thoughts, that maybe he didn’t deserve Cas’ love. Maybe the alien’s love wasn’t unconditional.

“ _Then I will love you all the same._ ” Cas answered back steadily, understanding without words what Dean was really asking, his tone sad. “ _That won’t change, Dean. No matter how much you try to push me away._ ”

Dean flinched back at that, struck yet again with the sense that Cas knew him so thoroughly that he could see all his insecurities. Yet he was still here, overjoyed by Dean’s presence and always happy to see him.

“Okay.” Dean replied, his throat clogged up with emotions as he stared at the ground, too vulnerable to meet Cas’ eyes. “Okay I’ll try for you Cas. I don’t know where our future leads, with you stuck here in a glorified cage, but if we’ll be together even after death, then I’ll try.”

Dean looked back up, a determined fire in his gaze. “I’ve thought about it and if you’re sticking with me come hell or high water, I’m going to stay on Earth and try to stop the Leviathan. I’m just one man, but with you and your people’s help I know I can do it.”

“ _Dean...my people won’t be coming for me._ ” Cas gently said, his voice troubled. “ _When I decided to stay here, I failed my mission. My garrison had made the decision to let the Leviathan crawl out, destroying your world, before smiting it. It was the tactical choice. I rebelled against them and in doing so destroyed all hope of ever gaining their assistance._ ”  
  
Dean could tell that even though Castiel was trying his best to hide it, the alien was affected by this. He’d essentially lost his family and everything he’d ever known.

The alien’s form drifted lower, head bowed in shame. “ _I’m sorry Dean, I was fully prepared to die with you but I see now that it is not your choice to perish._ ”

Dean sighed, shrugging off the sudden weight of the responsibilities on his shoulders, this time in charge of stopping the apocalypse. How was this his life?

“It’s okay Cas, we’ll make it up as we go. We’re in this together right?” Dean meant it as a statement but at the last second his insecurities made him question Cas’ devotion. Damn his insecurities.

“ _Yes, Dean. Together until the end._ ”

It was morbid, but it was what suited them best.

xxxxxx

Over the course of several months Dean visited Cas almost every other day. Since he was the boss of his own mechanic shop, his schedule was flexible and he could work on the cars whenever he wasn’t with Cas.

Sam had started teasing him about his fascination and crush on Cas and Dean grumbled about it but didn’t deny the words. As he learned more about Cas, he realized that he was a really funny guy (or alien thing) with an occasional naivety about the world that humored Dean. Cas was also deadpan and sassy as hell when he wanted to be. The first time Cas had used sarcasm Dean had burst out laughing, not expecting it. Afterwards, their interactions flowed better, laced with less emotional distress and drama than Dean’s earlier visits.

Well, most of the time. Sometimes Cas would strike a nerve and Dean would clam up again. He’d gotten better at opening up to Cas though, and even Sam could tell that Dean seemed lighter somehow, less angry at the world.

One such incident stood out to Dean, the emotional turbulence in that visit stuck with him.

“So...you’re saying there’s no god?” Dean asked, not too surprised since he was never really a believer (that was always Sam, the optimistic), but still interested in what Cas had to say on the topic.

“ _If there is a greater power I don't sense their presence. For centuries what humans called ‘acts of god’ were the doings of my brothers and sisters when they visited earth. Their grace causes...adverse reactions in the life around them. Sometimes when they touch down on Earth the land will bloom and prosper, other times a human with an injury nearby might gain a miraculous recovery. They’ve been known to occasionally cure cancer. Purely by accident of course, my brethren believe on a hands off approach to other species. They don’t wish to interfere on the natural order. We’ve been mistaken for gods for many centuries, when in fact, we are merely a separate species._ ”

There was a short pause, Dean’s eyes staring, lost in memories, into the mist around Castiel. “I see.”

Castiel’s physical form leaned back a little, while the fog around him swirled in curiousity. “ _You don't seem shocked. Most people, when told god isn't real, react with disbelief and sometimes even anger. Why is that? Do you not believe in god?_ ”

Dean shrugged, not meeting Cas’ eyes as he spoke in a casual tone. “I stopped believing in god after my parents were murdered during a shooting. They were caught in a gang war that had nothing to do with them. It was a drive by, they never made it out of the driveway. The only reason they went out that night was because I kept whining about wanting ice cream.” Dean laughed, the sound hollow in the stunned silence that followed after his words. “In retrospect I should’ve known that would happen. I always seem to destroy everything I love.”

“ _Dean…_ ” Cas’ voice was pained and Dean knew that if Castiel was capable of crying physical tears he would’ve cried for Dean. As it was, Dean could feel both an overwhelming wave of comfort and protectiveness envelop his mind. “ _You know that wasn’t your fault._ ”

“Ha!” Dean laughed, and Cas found he hated that laugh, hated that it wasn’t really a laugh but rather a harsh sound full of Dean’s hurt. “Yeah right. It’s always my fault. I tried my best to make up for it though, I worked hard after the incident, took custody of Sammy after I turned eighteen. Saved up all my money and sent Sam off to a good college. It was the least I could do, after murdering our parents.”

Cas made a pained sound in Dean’s mind, the whine full of animal hurt and a need to comfort. “ _It’s not your fault Dean. It is not your burden to bear._ ”

“It is what it is.” Dean replied, stubborn in his conviction that it was all his fault. Cas knew he wouldn’t be able to dissolve Dean’s years of guilt and so he saved that conversation for another time, when Dean would be more receptive to his suggestions. It upset him to know just how low Dean’s opinions were of himself, when Cas thought the universe of him. It was unbelievable, with a soul so bright and beautiful how could Dean doubt himself?  
  
Instead, Cas let the anger consume him, pulling his emotions back in a little when Dean once again frowned at the darkness spreading in his mind, courtesy of Cas.

“ _Have you ever seen the wrath of a god, Dean?_ ”

Dean blinked hard at that non-sequitur, the question pulling him out of his self loathing. He opened his mouth hesitantly, an eyebrow raised as he tried to deduce where Castiel was going with this.

“...No?”

“ _Well I won’t claim to be a god, but if I ever find the murderer, I will hurt him so bad he’ll pray for me to stop._ ” Castiel’s voice was filled with righteous anger. It rolled through him like the sound of thunder and Dean couldn’t help the shudder of feared awe it induced in him.

He took a step away from the wall, his body screaming at him to run from Castiel’s devotion, that it was too overwhelming in its intensity. Dean cautiously put his hands up in a placating gesture, a nervous chuckle falling out unbidden. “It’s okay, man. That bastard went to jail for life, and he’s still in a cell rotting somewhere. I’m flattered you would do so much for little old me, though.” Dean teased, throwing in a wink for good measure as he tried to break the tension.

“ _I would do anything for you, Dean_.” Cas answered, his voice deadly serious.

Dean flushed, and looked away, unable to take the strong emotions he could feel from Castiel.

“I know.” Dean whispered, because he did now. He knew Cas would stop at nothing to fulfill his wishes and that scared him, to be so important to someone.

Perking back up with fake cheer, and trying to ignore the heavy conversation they just had, Dean smirked and continued questioning Cas on inane things.

“So, was Jesus a real person?”

Dean felt Cas let out an exasperated but fond sigh, and all was right in the world again.

xxxxxx

It suddenly hit him one day, a realization that should have been a long time coming but was eclipsed by all the life changing events he’s recently been privy to.

“Oh my god Sam.” Dean burst into his brother’s room, his brother merely looking up at him annoyed. Sam was on his bed, leaning against the headboard and reading a book by lamplight. Usually Dean would be teasing him about being a nerd, but now was not the time. “Dude, Cas is a _guy_.”

Sam stared at him for a few confused moments, before sighing and rolling his eyes. Setting down the book beside him, he patted the bed in an invitation for Dean to sit.

“Not sure why this is a shocking realization but you’re only half right. Technically Cas has no gender even if he assumes the look of a male body as his preferred image. He’s an alien, remember?” Sam drawled out, as Dean collapsed into the bed next to him.

“Dude no, you don’t understand, he and I- it’s….” Dean struggled to explain it. He’d avoided talking to Sammy about his conversations with Cas but now, here in the wake of his realization that maybe he wasn’t straight-and holy god he just couldn’t believe it took him so long- he needed his brother’s opinion on this issue.

Taking a deep breath, Dean met his brother’s eyes and confessed. “Sam, Cas and I, apparently we’re like some sort of celestial soulmates.”

“Wait what?!” Sam yelped, suddenly much more alert and worried than before.

“So now you understand my crisis? If he’s a guy and I’m attracted to him then does that mean I’m gay?” Dean lamented, as he groaned and laid back on the bed, flinging an arm over his closed eyes.

“I think that is the literal definition of gay but in your case, you’re a bisexual. Congratulations. More importantly, what is this about being soulmates with an alien? Why didn’t you tell me about this? I would think that’s pertinent information for me to know about you, Dean.” Sam admonished, and Dean could feel his disapproving gaze even with his eyes closed.

“Been there done that,” Replied Dean as he waved a hand dismissively. “I’ve already had ample time to freak out about the whole soulmates with Cas thing. I decided to accept it and just live with it. However, it never occurred to me that the soulmates thing, and Cas professing his love for me and his devotion...that his love was perhaps not platonic?”

Dean felt Sam pull his arm away from his covered eyes and Dean opened them, seeing Sammy’s more than done expression.

“You’re telling me that Cas, quite literally told you you were his soulmate, confessed his love for you, and you thought it was platonic?” Sam asked, incredibly amazed by his brother’s somewhat lack of insight at times.

Dean sat up, sighing as he did, biting his lower lip in concentration. “Well I mean...I don’t know, I just never thought of it that way. Mostly because I wasn’t even sure he understood what romantic love meant. Does his species even do that?”

“Dean, I love you and you’re my brother but good lord you are a buffoon.” Dean glared at Sam, offended but also embarrassed. “If you don’t know then _ask_. Seriously, what are you? A middle schooler too scared to talk to your crush? You’ve had all these visits with Cas and I’m sure if you asked him he would answer you.”

“I hate to admit it, Sammy, but you’re right.” Dean grumbled as he stood up to head out, crisis averted. “I’ll go ask him tomorrow.”

“Wait, Dean!”

Dean turns, hand on the door knob and a question in his eyes.

“You still haven’t fully explained to me what the hell is going on with you and Cas. If this is getting personal then I have a right to know. I don’t want you to get hurt. You have to remember, Cas may seem human to you, but he’s not. He’s a research project and right now, I’m sorry to say this, but he’s our captive. His future is uncertain and you shouldn’t get attached to him.” Sam was giving him the puppy dog eyes, and Dean knew that Sam meant well but he was in too deep.

“All our futures are uncertain, Sam,” Dean finally replied, his mouth set in a grim line as he remembered the incoming apocalypse. “And it’s too late for that. If you didn’t want me to get attached, you shouldn’t have let me meet him.”

With that, and ignoring Sam’s protests, Dean walked out and closed the door. Leaning against it, he closed his eyes, his head tipping back to thunk against the door. Sighing, he thought about what his brother had said. He knew Sam was right but that didn’t mean he could stop.

Castiel was… an anomaly. A bright light in his otherwise dismal life. And after all the suffering he’s been through, couldn’t he at least have this one nice thing? Castiel completed him, he could feel it in his soul every time his visits with Cas left him feeling lighter and less burdened. If this was his fate, then he didn’t think he’d be able to resist it.

xxxxxx

In the end, Dean didn’t confront Castiel about his love for him and what it meant. Dean Winchester always was a coward when it came to feelings, and he knew that even with Sam’s advice ringing in his mind he wasn’t going to go through with it.

He hated himself, sometimes.

Less now, but god did he hate himself. When his parents were murdered because of him he’d only been little more than a pre-teen but it was the first time he experienced such intense self-hatred. He’d let that control his life for too long. It was what drove him to constantly run away from every foster home they sent him to, always hunting down Sammy and trying to run away with him. They got caught every time, both of them still children and barely able to fend for themselves. Eventually their father’s good friend Bobby and his wife Ellen caught wind of their situation and out of respect for John and Mary, adopted them. It was the one good memory he had, those days with Bobby in his house. The man had a rough exterior and at first he’d been afraid of Bobby, not trusting Ellen’s kind words. It wouldn’t be the first time Dean’s been lured in with kindness before getting beaten in those so called safe foster homes.

It took a very long time before he eventually grew comfortable enough to think of them as extended family members. He learned that they truly did care, for both him and Sammy, and that was enough for him. He trusted them but despite their protests, he took custody of Sammy when he turned 18. He didn’t want to burden them and he knew he was a burden. He would have left Sammy with them, his brother deserved a loving home not a life on the road with his broken older brother, but he couldn’t do it. In the end, he was a selfish bastard and took Sammy with him. He’d sometimes drink a little too much, wondering if Sam would have turned out better if Dean hadn’t taken him from his second home. It ate at him a lot, the guilt and the regret. His only solace was the fact that Sam grew up to be a good and kind person, someone Dean could be proud of.

Thinking of Bobby and Ellen, he made a mental note to call them soon. They lived several states away but it always made the older couple happy to hear from the Winchesters, and it soothed the ache in him that yearned for family.

That day, with the memory of his past still fresh in his mind, he’d confessed all of his sins to Castiel. He told Cas about what he had to do in order to afford a place for him and Sam. He’d lied, cheated and hustled his way through life, trying to save up enough to pay for Sammy’s college. He never let his brother know the lengths he went to keep food on the table, sometimes going hungry himself. The last part he whispered, his voice hoarse and gaze hollow. That sometimes, when times were really rough he had to sell himself, his body. It wasn’t something he was proud of and he definitely shoved all those unpleasant memories into a box deep in his mind, but it was something that Cas should know. That he was dirty and not worthy.

When he was done, Dean stared at the ground, blinking hard against the threat of tears, unable to meet Cas’ eyes. He didn’t think he’d be able to face the judgement and regret on Cas’ face. That out of all the people in the world he was stuck with the most useless and tainted one.

“ _Dean, look at me._ ” Castiel’s voice was gentle, the emotions flooding Dean’s mind nothing but sadness, pride and protectiveness.

Dean slowly looked up, swallowing harshly, meeting Cas’ luminescent gaze. “ _There is nothing you can tell me that will ever lessen my devotion. We’ve been through much together, you and I. Even if I was not beside you through these trials you faced, know that I would have given anything to spare you from all this pain. You don’t deserve it, Dean. With time, I hope you can see that you deserve to be saved. That you don’t have to punish yourself anymore._ ”

Dean teared up then, gratitude and disbelief welling from within him at Castiel’s easy acceptance. He felt like he’d been drifting aimlessly through life as well, only going through the motions and it wasn’t until he met Cas, that he realized he’d been missing something all his life.

Dean didn’t say anything, after Cas’ loving words there was nothing left to say. They stood in silence, soaking up each other’s presence and letting the weight of Dean’s confessions dissipate.

When Dean finally left the chamber he ignored his brother’s troubled gaze, giving him a brief, watery smile to show that he was okay. His eyes were red-rimmed and he knew Sammy probably correctly deduced that he’d cried but he wasn’t going to tell his brother about their conversation. That was between him and Cas, and if Dean had it his way, Sam would never have to find out what Dean sacrificed for him.

xxxxxx

Mostly, when Dean visited Castiel they discussed random things, getting to know each other better. Castiel hadn’t visited Earth in so long (specifically his last visit was during the Renaissance) that all the new technology and improvements to humanity fascinated him. It was a topic of amusement for Dean, every time Cas seemed befuddled by all the new age slang. He’d barely learned basic english after all, slang was a foreign and unnecessary concept to him.

Some days, Dean tried to talk to Cas about the Leviathan, both attempting to figure out a solution. So far they’ve decided that with only the two of them, it was not enough to take down an ancient being, even if Cas was just as powerful. The Leviathan had literally millenias to recover and when it wakes up, it’ll be starving. That would probably make it more desperate, more dangerous.

“What are our options, Cas?” Dean asked, shoulders slumped and feeling defeated with them no closer to finding a solution.

“ _There is nothing we can do, Dean. You can’t save everyone, though you try._ ” Cas said gently his tone meant to comfort.

Dean refused to accept that answer. As long as he was still alive he would not stop searching for a solution to this problem. They may be only two people, one alien and one human trying to find a solution, but it would have to be enough.

Unless....maybe the problem was that they weren’t enough.

Dean shot up from where he’d been sitting cross legged on the floor, causing Cas to stare at him curiously.

“ _Is there something wrong Dean?_ ”

Dean smiled brightly up at Castiel, happier than he’s been in ages now that he’d thought up of a potential solution. He was such an idiot, this whole time he had the mentality that it was him and Cas against the apocalypse. He’d completely forgotten about the fact that this entire experiment and chamber was carefully guarded by the military.

And military meant firepower right? Perhaps, they would have a weapon in their arsenal strong enough to defeat the Leviathan. Dean thought about it and just maybe, he wouldn’t have to do this alone. Surely, the military would help if they knew the world was at stake.

“No, nothing’s wrong Cas. I think I have an idea that could help us.” Dean dusted himself off, as he gave a wave to Cas, heading to the door. “I’ll tell you how it goes.”

  
The alien nodded at him, his expression fond before fading into mist. Cas trusted him to know what he was doing and Dean hoped he could live up to that.

xxxxxx

He was a goddamn idiot.

He should have just left it alone. For once in his life, Dean had thought he could try and get help, to trust other people. But of course, nothing in his life ever worked out like he wanted.

“What the hell, man?!” Dean growled out as two of those stupidly strong military soldiers held him back by his arms.

Sam was next to him, not restrained but position tense, trying to placate everyone. He had his hands raised beseechingly, a neutral expression on his face.

“Let’s calm down-”

“Calm down?! Do you know what she’s saying? She wants to kill Cas!” Dean shouted and surged forward against the grip of the soldiers, angry at his brother for even suggesting the notion of calm.

Naomi, on the other hand, was the perfect picture of calm and collected. “I don’t _want_ that, Mr. Winchester. Understand that we are losing a lot of sponsors and research opportunities by doing this. But if what you’re suggesting is true, then we can’t risk the chances of an apocalypse for the sake of science.”

“You’re not making a lick of sense, woman.” Dean snarled, standing stiffly and with fists clenched in frustration. “Did you not hear anything I said? I told you that this Leviathan is the bad guy, not Cas! He came here to warn us.”

“No, but from what you said, the Leviathan was originally the same species as Cas. We can not risk him turning into the same evil that will destroy our world. We’ll already have our hands full dealing with this Leviathan but with Cas around it’s another potential threat.” Naomi stepped closer to Dean, despite his murderous look, and gave him a stern glare. “Know that we are now in a state of crisis. It would be best for our people to remove all traces of these aliens from our Earth to prevent further disasters. You owe nothing to this alien, and we are only trying to protect humanity.”

“Protect humanity? Is that what you call killing an innocent being and destroying the one hope we have of defeating the Leviathan? We don’t even know how to fight this thing! Cas is our only weapon against it.” Dean may have been stretching the truth a little, but he was desperate. He had to convince them that Castiel was worth saving.

Naomi gave him a steady look, expression giving nothing away. “If he truly was powerful enough to prevent this apocalypse, then you wouldn’t have come to us.”

Damn it! Dean stood there, angry but with no rebuttals because it was true, he’d come to them because he’d been left with no other choice. Or maybe he was just being a fuck up again when he should’ve kept quiet and trusted Cas would figure out a way. Now, he may never see the alien again because Dean had basically signed his death warrant with his words.

Naomi nodded at the two soldiers holding Dean, gesturing them towards a far door. “Take him to the containment room and keep him under watch until we get rid of the alien. Make sure it’s guarded at all times.”

Naomi paused for a moment, her frown the only indication of her conflicted emotions. “Please understand Dean, I am only trying to do what’s best for our people. I am not your enemy.”

Dean tried valiantly to fight and get away, but nothing seemed to work. Sam watched him get dragged away, pain in his eyes, even as Dean felt betrayed that his brother had kept silent, instead of defending him. So much for family.

“Do we need to keep you in containment too?” Naomi asked, a warning in her voice.

Sam straightened his posture, his voice and face neutral. “No, Ma'am. I’m a part of this team.”

“Good.” She nodded, satisfied with his answer. “Now go pack up with the rest, we need to evacuate the chamber areas and relocate here.” She turned around, intending to go through the main door and into the control room where she would then issue the compound wide command.

“Why is that?” Sam asked, his fingers giving an involuntary nervous twitch as he tried to figure out what she had planned.

She looked over her shoulder, her lips set in a grim line. “The explosions can get a little messy.” Naomi left the room, her stance rigid, the burden of her responsibilities weighing her down.

Sam was left behind with his face pale and worried, guilt swimming in his eyes. Sighing, he turned, heading towards the direction Dean had been taken.

“Sorry, boss, the only team I’ll ever be loyal to is Dean’s. We are family, after all.” Sam muttered, his smile sardonic as he made a side stop to grab his taser. Years of living on the road had left him paranoid and he learned to always carry a concealed weapon. Hidden well enough even the routine body searches wouldn’t uncover them. Now, he was glad for his paranoia. It would make it easier to break Dean out.

Sam paused in his walking, as a sudden idea came to him. He turned around and headed in the opposite direction, his steps determined. Perhaps backup would be smart. After all, he was only one person in a fortified military base and trying to break out both their human and alien prisoners. Sam sighed, shaking his head incredulously, how was this his life?

  
xxxxxx

Dean sat on the chair in the middle of the room, frustrated and antsy. He’d already walked the perimeter of the room several times, trying to find a flaw in the architecture that he could exploit or even find a weapon he could use to get out. So far, he’s come up with a total of nothing. He hated this. He hated sitting here useless and unable to protect those he loved.

Just as he was about to descend even deeper into his wallowing and despair, he heard a large crackling sound that startled him. Standing up from his chair cautiously, he approached the door, leaning his ear against it. There was some sort of confrontation going outside if the loud grunts were any indication and before he could step back, the door was yanked open.

Stumbling into another person, who he instantly recognized as his tall gangly brother, Dean made a quiet “Oof!” as he fell.

“Damn it Sammy, wh-” Dean tried to say as he scrunched his eyes closed and rubbed his face, trying to relieve the pain he’d felt when he smacked into his brother’s brick wall chest.

“I’m here to break you out.” Sam said matter-of-factly as if they were talking about the weather.

Dean finally opened his eyes, noticing the two bodies on the ground and the now dormant taser Sam had in his hands. He grinned into his brother’s amused eyes, grabbing hold of the legs of one of the men as he started dragging them into the room. He was relieved to see that Sam hadn’t abandoned him. Although truth be told he’d only doubted his brother for a second when he was really angry. He knew Sam would get him out eventually.

“That’s what family is for. Now let’s get these two in the room. It should buy us some time.”

Sam sighed in exasperation, as he grabbed the other guy. “Should I be worried about how good you are at this?”

“Hiding bodies?” Dean asked, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Maybe, but now’s not the time.”

Sam rolled his eyes, closing the door on the two knocked out soldiers in the room. The brothers looked down both hallways, making sure the ruckus had not been heard. Luckily for them, the containment room was secluded for obvious reasons and almost everyone in the base was too busy evacuating the areas around the chamber to notice anything amiss.

Dean followed Sam, keeping an eye out for anyone who might stop them. Sam knew his way around the base so he let his brother lead the way. It wasn’t until Sam led them into a janitor’s closet that he questioned him.

“Wait.” Dean grabbed Sam’s arm, giving him a look of confusion, jaws clenched and tense. “What are we doing here?” He followed Sam into the weirdly spacious closet, looking around cautiously. Seriously, this thing was the size of his bedroom back home and housed a number of cleaning supplies he’s pretty sure isn’t sold to the public. But then again, this was a base created in anticipation for alien activity, they probably had the strongest bleach and cleaning supplies known to mankind.

Sam cleared his throat and suddenly two people stepped out from behind the mops, one he recognized and the other girl he didn’t.

“So, I thought we might need back up. You know Kevin already,” Sam gestured to Kevin who gave an awkward wave. “And this is Charlie, she’s in charge of IT here. If anyone can get us through the locks on the doors and into the chamber it’ll be her.”

The red head bounded up to him excitedly, much like a puppy, and Dean almost stepped back, not expecting such enthusiasm. “I’m so glad to meet you Dean!” She held out a hand that he shook, her voice too chipper for the current situation. She let go, but her gaze was sympathetic, smile faltering. “Sam told me about your problem. I’ve got your back bro. I’m so glad that the apocalypse will be stopped with the power of your alien gay love with Cas.” Charlie continued, sighing happily and eyes glazing over dreamily.

Dean shot Sam an overwhelmed look that quickly turned into irritation at Charlie’s last sentence. “What the hell? If anything I’m bi-”

Sam quickly covered Dean’s mouth, muffling his protests. “Haha what Dean means to say is he appreciates your help and wishes to reunite with Cas as soon as possible,” To Dean he whispered softly, a little nervous at facing his brother’s wrath. “I may have stretched the truth a little to get her to help.”

At the mention of Cas, Dean stopped his struggling because he really did want to see the alien as soon as possible. Dean made sure to give Sam a pointed jab with his elbow though, glaring at him that they would talk about this later.

“Yes of course.” Charlie nodded decisively, righteous anger in her eyes. “I can’t believe the big boss is ordering Cas killed just because he’s another species. I dated a faerie once and speciests are just not cool, dude.”

The three men stared at her for a moment, not sure how to react before Sam clapped his hands together to break the silence. “Alright! That’s a story for another time. We don’t have time to lose.” Sam searched through his pockets for the little comms he’d grabbed from his room. He only had two so he was planning to separate it accordingly based on the plan.

As he looked, the other two started talking. “Why are you helping them?” Charlie asked Kevin, as Sam set about handing out the items.

Kevin shrugged, his eyes drifting as he thought. He glanced at Dean with a wry smile, his gaze softening. “I’ve watched Dean and Cas’ interactions and I think...it would be a shame to let things end like this.” Charlie smiled at the fiery determination in his eyes as he straightened his back. “They are my friends, after all.”

Sam laughed good naturedly, dissolving the sentimental atmosphere, though he was thankful. “He’s probably doing this so he doesn’t lose his only chance at a nobel prize.”

“Hey!” Kevin cried out in mock offense, playing along. He rested a hand against his breastbone, face screwed up in indignation. “I’ll have you know my studies on the courting practices between an alien and human would have won me a nobel prize in biology.” He sniffed daintily, grinning at them to show he was joking.

“Yeah, it’s not like he’ll get to see another alien and human gay love within his lifetime.” Charlie commented, raising a brow at Dean, giving him a smirk.

Dean gaped at them, an embarrassed flush going up his ears. He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck, looking down, and told them to can it.

They all laughed at him before sobering up, looking to Sam to be briefed on the plan.

“So this is how we’re going to do this,” Sam said as he pointed at each person in turn. “Charlie will head to the control room as usual and act normal. She’ll scramble the security feeds so that we can get to Cas undetected. Then, when we’re at the door, I’ll hold Kevin hostage and cause a distraction. Dean will be positioned somewhere near the door and Charlie will open it when the time is right so he can slip in. Once he’s in, she’ll deadlock the doors and send a virus into the system so that it’ll take them a while to get into the chamber.”

“Wait, why do you have a random virus lying around?” Kevin asked, slightly concerned as he turned towards Charlie who grinned in answer.

Charlie pulled a necklace out of her shirt and quickly showed them the flash drive she always kept on herself. “I have worked for many agencies over the years, most of them not exactly legal. I’ve learned to have an emergency measure just in case they happen to be a little too shady for my liking. And let me tell you, working for a government agency like this one? Especially affiliated with NASA? I’m not taking any chances.”

“Not sure if that’s paranoid or smart.” Muttered Dean as he shook his head, amused.

“I like to call it being practical.” Charlie quipped with a grin.

Sam smiled at them indulgently, before continuing his explanation. “Right well, that should give Dean ample time to break Cas out. With Cas’ alien powers, getting out of the chamber should be easy after that. Charlie you get one of the comms, I’ll have the other one.”

“Okay great plan but,” Kevin spoke up, his face in a frown as he cocked his head to the side. “What about the explosives?”

Sam shrugged, a little helpless on that front. “Honestly, I’m banking on the hope that with people still near the chamber, Naomi won’t set off the explosives.” Sam gives Charlie and Kevin a serious look, one filled with compassion. “I have to admit, there is a fair bit of risk and danger in this whole mission and a lot of our plan is based on pure luck. If you guys want to back out now I won’t blame you.”

Kevin and Charlie glanced at each other, eyes resolute.

“No way, you’re stuck with us now.” Charlie grinned, as she swept her red hair to the side to put on the communications earpiece. “Alright, ready to go when you are.”

Sam nodded, looking at Dean who’d been mostly quiet the whole time, eyes distant and worried. “Okay, let’s go.”

Charlie stepped out of the closet, giving them an encouraging finger gun, and headed towards the control room. They would wait until she was scrambling the security feeds before they would venture out to head full speed towards the chamber. The base they were at was separate from the chamber area that was basically just a series of tents. The base itself was a building in the middle of a field that stretched many yards away from the chamber that was built around Cas when they discovered him. The tents around the chamber housed much of the research equipment and almost all of the team members worked from there. The base itself was more for technical issues so the control room was stationed there as well.  
To get to the chamber area they would have to first escape the base secretly, then somehow run across the field without getting detected, sneak past all the people going through the tent area and packing up, and finally enter the heavily guarded chamber area. It was definitely a suicide mission but at this point they had no other choice, and this was the best plan they had.

“Here.” Sam said as he handed the two of them the janitorial uniforms he found in the closet, keeping one for himself. “Put these on, and make sure the cap covers your hair as well. This will help us blend in.”

Dean and Kevin nodded, quickly changing into the uniforms and grabbing a mop each, both as an impromptu weapon if need be but also as a prop.

The comm crackled to life in Sam’s ear and he winced, not expecting the sudden noise.

“ _Alright I am inside and I’ve successfully taken over the security cameras. I’ll give you guys fifteen minutes before I put the cameras back to normal. We don’t want them to catch on to us._ ”

“Copy that.” Sam replied. Carefully he rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen the tense muscles there in preparation. At the expectant looks on Dean and Kevin’s faces, he nodded. “It’s time to go.”

“Let’s get this show on the road.” Dean grumbled as he opened the door to the closet and carefully looked both ways before stepping out, gesturing for them to do the same.

It was fairly anticlimactic. With Charlie on their side, they were able to avoid everyone and exit the building unharmed and undeterred. They successfully traversed the field, no one even giving them a second look. It wasn’t until they entered the tent area that they encountered their first problem.

“Hey!” The trio froze in their tracks, not turning around in case the person would recognize them. “We’re evacuating right now. Why are you heading towards the chamber?”

Dean could hear the suspicion in the guy’s voice and still he refused to turn around, stance stiff. Sam gave a disarming laugh, as he showed the mop he was holding, turning around with his head down so that the cap covered much of his face. “You know how those higher ups are. They wanted us to be on standby to clean up after everything is over.”

The man opened his mouth, eyes squinted suspiciously, before someone grabbed him by the arm. “Come on we have to go. They’re gonna blow soon.”

The man gave them one last glance before dismissing them for the more immediate concern of evacuating the tents.

They sighed in relief, relaxing only slightly. “That was a close call.” Kevin muttered, nerves returning in full force after that encounter.

“Yeah, come on we need to hurry. You heard what he said.” Dean replied, his heart speeding up. He was worried about Cas and he didn’t like how close they were cutting it right now.

They slipped into the chamber unnoticed, most were too busy or too occupied to care.

“We’re in Charlie.” Sam whispered into the earpiece as they slowly moved through the hallways. They were now around the corner to the chamber doorways and a quick glance over showed that there were only two guards armed with assault rifles placed in front of the doors. “When the guards are far away enough from the door I’ll tell you and you can open the doors for Dean.”

“ _Got it. Charlie is ready, bitches!_ ” Sam smiled at her enthusiasm, before turning to Dean and Kevin.

“Okay Dean you come in after us and sneak past them. We’ll keep their eyes on us.”

Dean nodded, giving them a quick good luck. Kevin swallowed hard before clenching his jaw. He nodded to Sam once he’d taken a few deep breaths and allowed him to hold him captive from behind. Sam led them out into the open, both tense in anticipation.

The moment the guards noticed them, they yelled out and aimed their weapons at them.

“Don’t shoot!” Sam called out as he put his pistol against Kevin’s temples.

Kevin yelped, slightly panicked, not expecting the cold muzzle of a gun. He instinctively struggled a little before forcing himself to relax, hissing under his breath. “Dude! You didn’t tell me you had a gun!”

“Figured it would make your fear more convincing.” Sam answered with a mischievous smirk, his hold on Kevin tightening. Kevin whimpered, and the guards seemed to hesitate, obviously catching on that this was a hostage situation.

“Let him go.” The guards demanded, slowly inching closer to the pair as they backed away, steadily moving to the right and away from Dean’s hiding place.

“No, not until you open the door for us.” Sam replied, as Kevin started screaming slightly hysterically. “Please! He’ll kill me. I need to win a nobel prize, I can’t die yet!”

  
“Don’t worry, Mr. Tran we’ll get you to safety.” One of the guards reassured him as the other guard slowly reached for his radio.

“Don’t.” Sam warned, his gaze dangerous as he unclicked the safety of the gun. Kevin took in a shaky breath, trusting Sam to not hurt him, but under gun point it was rather nerve wracking.

The guard stopped his hand, putting it back up in a sign of surrender as his eyes darted from Kevin to Sam, watched the proceedings.

“Please help me.” Kevin sobbed theatrically as he wailed for his mom. His bottom lip trembled and he knew he was a pathetic sight. Hopefully pathetic enough to distract them.  
  
While the guards were distracted, Dean snuck past them to the door, signalling to his brother that he was ready.

Sam carefully kept his eyes from focusing on Dean, lest he give away his brother’s position. He then quietly whispered into the mic using Kevin’s screams to cover his words.

“Charlie, now.”

“Alright! One illegal break-in coming right up.” Charlie quickly sent her virus through the systems, gaining control of the main board and causing mass confusion in the control room. The other engineers rushed around in a panic just as Naomi stormed in with her guards in tow.

“What’s going on?” She demanded, her voice menacing and glare stone cold. She crossed her arms, giving a cursory sweep of the room before her eyes rested on Charlie.

“Oh shit.” Charlie whispered, her eyes wide and slightly fearing for her life.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked through the earpiece, just as Dean slipped into the slight crack of space the metal doors allowed. By doing so, Sam dropped all pretense of holding Kevin hostage, something that the guards quickly caught on to and started yelling, running towards the doors. “Oh shoot. Charlie close the doors!”

“Ack!” She yelled out, hitting the close button on her tablet. The moment she did, the doors closed shut with a resounding clang, the guards hitting against the door uselessly as they banged their fists on it.

Charlie turned around slowly, finally realizing that everyone’s attention was on her. Naomi’s glare was piercing, and full of wrath. She growled out a question, the rest of the tech team practically cowering in fear. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Uhhh…” Charlie started, laughing nervously before making a split second decision. She grabbed her chair and raised it over her head, smashing it into her computer and tablet that held the controls for the entire compound. Without it, they wouldn’t be able to access any of the technology in this place.

Naomi’s guards stopped her eventually, grabbing her arms even as she yelled and fought. But she grinned victoriously. It was too late, they wouldn’t be able to get Dean out of that chamber unless they pried it open manually.

“Charlie…” Naomi started, her tone dangerous and every word measured. She walked over to the redhead, her nails digging into her arms where she had them crossed. “What have you done?”

“We’ve won. Dean will save Cas and I doubt you’ll set off the explosives knowing there’s people still near the chamber and inside. That means you can’t change anything. Might as well let them go.” Charlie smirked, confident even as Naomi’s face seemed to darken at her words.

“You stupid girl.” Naomi snarled, uncharacteristically angry, leaning close to Charlie.“You have no idea what’s going on and you’ve just doomed one man to death.”

Charlie’s confident smile fell, her eyes holding a hint of nerves. She couldn’t help leaning away from Naomi, terrified of what the woman would tell her. “What do you mean?”

Ignoring her question, Naomi unclipped the walkie talkie from her belt and held it up to her mouth, face weary and resigned. “Sector five, report in.”

“ _Reporting in. We had a hostage situation in front of the doors but it seems they’ve unfortunately accomplished what they came here for. Dean Winchester managed to get into the chamber despite our best efforts._ ”

Naomi sighed, closing her eyes briefly before opening them, her face that of a commander again. One who is about to make a hard decision.

“Sector five I want you to evacuate the area immediately, bring the intruders with you. Knock them out if you have to.”

“Wait! What’s going on? Please! Are they going to be okay?” Charlie yelled out as Naomi made a gesture to the guards. They escorted her out, despite her screams and left an uneasy silence in the room.

“ _What about Dean Winchester?_ ” The guard asked hesitantly, the radio crackling back to life.

“We don’t have a choice.” Naomi replied, her lips pulled into a grim line. “You have five minutes. Make good use of it.”

The guards shut off the radio, solemnly clipping it back onto their belt.

Sam’s arms fell to his sides, the gun slack in his grip. “What did she mean by that?” Sam asked, his voice a hoarse whisper in the otherwise tense silence.

The guards gave him a steady look, before the one with the radio sighed and answered him.

“Naomi can’t stop the explosions even if she wanted to. It’s a timed explosive and it will utterly decimate this area. We only have five minutes to get out of the range of the blast radius.”

“Wh- I don’t understand…?” Sam said, his mind going blank. Oh god, he’d essentially locked his brother in there and in five minutes, he would die.

Kevin, with a shaking hand, grabbed Sam’s arm tugging him towards the door. “Come on. We have to get the doors open.”

Nodding and frantic, the two of them rushed towards the doors only to be stopped by the two guards.

“I’m sorry. But there’s no saving him.” One of the guards stated grimly, pushing them back even as Sam tried to push his way to the door.

“Dean-!” Sam cried out, almost hysterical now that the true weight of the situation was dawning on him. “You guys can’t do this! My brother is in there. Please, he’s all I have left.” Sam met the eyes of the guard holding him back, staring at him beseechingly as he struggled against their hold.

Kevin, who was stood off to the side tried pleading with the guards, hope in his eyes. “Is there any way that he would survive the blast…?”

The guards glanced at each other again, this time with pity. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing that can be done. We weren’t sure how much it would take to destroy Cas so we’ve set nuclear bombs. There will be nothing left of this place by the time it’s over.”

“I’m not leaving here.” Sam snarled as he threw himself at the door again, determination on his face. A second later, one of the guards slammed the butt of his rifle against the back of Sam’s head, effectively knocking him out cold. Kevin cried out Sam’s name but flinched back when one of them made a move towards him.

“Will you come quietly or will we have to forcibly remove you as well?” One guard questioned, his face twisted in regret. “We never wanted to hurt any of you.”

“It’s too late for that.” Kevin replied, bitter and with a defeated slump of his shoulders. “I’ll go. Not like I have a choice.”

Nodding, the two guards lifted Sam’s body, taking him with them as Kevin hesitantly walked ahead.

Kevin looked back one last time, tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

xxxxxx

The moment Dean made it into the chamber he breathed a sigh of relief, the doors slamming shut behind him amid the startled shouts of the guards. He couldn’t believe it. They’d actually succeeded and he would be able to free Castiel.

Grinning brightly, he all but ran up to the glass wall, Castiel instantly solidifying the moment he sensed Dean.

“ _Dean_ ,” Castiel said, surprise in his voice. “ _Are you alone today?_ ”

“Cas,” Dean panted out, breathless and also slightly frantic because they needed to escape as soon as possible. “I’m here to break you out.”

The mist swirled anxiously for a moment, and Castiel spoke up confused. “ _Why? Has something happened?_ ”

“Yes,” Dean growled out as he looked around the giant chamber for something he could use to break the glass. “Those bastards decided you were dangerous and they’re going to blow this place up with you in it. I wasn’t about to let that happen.”

Cas cocked his head to the side, perplexed. “ _But why? What have I done that’s so detrimental to them that they’d want to kill me?_ ”

Dean paused in his searching, looking down and refusing to meet Cas’ eyes. “It’s not a question of what you did but rather what I said.”

Taking a deep breath, Dean hesitantly met Castiel’s glowing eyes, running a frustrated hand down his face.“It’s all my damn fault. I told them about the apocalypse deal, hoping they’d help us but what they gathered from it was that you had the potential to turn into one of those Fallen. They thought it would be better in the long run to get rid of you. I’m sorry Cas.” Dean’s voice was remorseful, and he pressed his lips together, hating himself for putting them in this situation.

Castiel didn’t respond immediately, instead keeping a steady gaze on Dean. Dean could feel the warmth that exuded from Cas, the alien actively trying to comfort him through emotions rather than words.

“But it’ll be okay Cas, I’ll fix this. As soon as I break you out we can leave.” Dean glanced around one more time, desperate for something to break the glass. He finally noticed the flashing light on the nearby wall and walked over to it, curious and hopeful. He felt his stomach drop, bile threatening to rise up as he stared at the blinking number that glowed on the massive bomb. Slowly, as if underwater, he watched as the numbers counted down.

_1:55...1:54...1:53..._

It was too late. Dean felt pre-emptive grief overwhelm him as he realized that he’d just doomed something as pure and beautiful as Castiel to die. That because of him, something good would be destroyed, yet again.

“Cas…” Dean rasped out, choking slightly. He didn’t want to scare Castiel but he knew he needed to tell him. He placed a hand on the wall next to the bomb, leaning on it for a moment for support. “We’re fucked. The bomb is on a timer system. We won’t be able to get out in time.”

Dean walked back to the glass wall on unsteady legs, letting gravity drag him down as he fell to his knees, head bowed. He put a hand on the glass, using the cooling touch to stabilize himself. His head was swimming, trying hard to find a way out but he couldn’t see one. All he could say was a muttered litany of “I’m sorry Cas, I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault…”

“ _Dean…shhh it’s ok_ ,” Castiel started, his voice compassionate. “ _You did what you thought was right_.”

Dean scoffed, his eyes filled with unshed tears as he looked up at Cas who’d leaned down on the other side of the glass. “And now we’re both going to die because of it.”

“ _Not necessarily_.” Castiel replied gently as he placed his hand on the glass, their palms touching if it wasn’t for the glass wall separating them.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked quietly, his expression hopeful. He leaned forward as well, wanting to get as close to Cas as possible. An unspoken plea for comfort, for salvation.

“ _Your kind referred to us as gods for millenias. There are many things we can do that your human mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Do you trust me Dean?_ ” Castiel seemed to glow in steady pulses, his form dissipating and reforming rapidly.

“Yes.” The answer was immediate, Dean didn’t even need to think about it. In the time they’d known each other he’d grown to not only trust the alien but also love him. He would trust Castiel with anything. It was such a stunning realization, knowing with certainty that he loved Castiel. No matter how broken or damaged he was, no matter which life he lived, he would always love Castiel. Now, he wasn’t sure he would ever have the chance to tell Castiel his feelings.

Dean’s feelings of desperation, devotion and love were so powerful that Cas was able to feel them through their connected minds. Castiel smiled, the first time he’d ever shown such a joyous expression on his physical form.

“ _Good, then you have nothing to fear_.” Raising a hand into the air, Castiel slowly reached towards Dean. The human stood still, confused as to what Castiel was trying to accomplish since there was a giant glass wall in between them.

As if sensing his thoughts, Castiel’s hand paused right before the glass wall. Then, as easy as passing through air, Castiel’s hand went through it.

Dean only had a second to gape at the fact that Castiel could’ve escaped this whole time before the alien commanded him. “ _Close your eyes._ ”

Dean closed his eyes, the last image he had of Castiel was his giant hand reaching for him. He felt the cool touch of mist on his forehead, and then there was oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

_Beep...beep...beep…_

Dean groaned, the annoying beeping pulling him back to consciousness. He blinked blearily, yawning so wide it cracked his jaw. Staring at the generic white ceiling he realized, a little late, that this was not his bedroom.

Now that he was more aware, he also realized that someone was holding his hand. He looked to the right, expecting to see Sam. Instead, he got bright blue eyes that seemed achingly familiar and a worried face with days old stubble.

Suddenly, he remembered everything that had happened and Dean couldn’t help tightening his grip on Cas’ hand, using it to pull the alien towards him. Hugging him in an almost desperate, relieved hug, Dean let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob.

“You’re okay.” It was a statement because it was true. Castiel was alive and so was he, that means they must have escaped somehow.

Awkwardly, Castiel lifted his arms and tentatively placed his palms on Dean’s back, trying to reciprocate the hug. “Yes, I am.” The alien replied, his voice muffled by Dean’s shoulder but still Dean could hear the underlying otherworldly rumble to it.

Dean finally pulled back, keeping both hands on Cas’ shoulders as he looked the alien up and down, squinting in confusion. “Why are you human…?”

Cas shrugged, his mouth ticked up in a small, soft smile. “Not exactly human Dean. I’m still me, I just condensed my form to create a more solid vessel.”

Deans smiled back at him, helplessly fond of the alien. “But how did we get out of there? And do we need to run? Are we on the run right now?” As Dean spoke he grew more grim, a calm enveloping him as he tried to plot out how they could get away from the government that was probably hunting them. “I’m in a hospital room Cas, something must have happened.”

“It’s okay now, Dean. We have nothing to fear.” Castiel placated, placing his hand gently on top of Dean’s. Before he could say anything more, Sam walked into the hospital room, clutching tightly to a phone.

“Yeah Bobby, he’s not awake yet but I’ll tell you when-” Sam looked up, finally noticing Dean was very much awake and conscious. Dean, on the other hand, was panicking because Cas was in a human form and now they were going to have to somehow smuggle him out of the hospital room before the government grabbed him again. “Scratch that, Dean’s awake. I’ll talk to you later.”

Hanging up, Sam strode across the room and sat down on the chair next to Cas, slumping into the chair. Dean gave him a searching look, trying to figure out why his brother seemed so relaxed and relieved. They were on the run. Shouldn’t he be more anxious? “I’m so glad you’re okay. You gave us a scare, man.”

Frowning, Dean glanced at Castiel. The alien’s face was impassive and Dean didn’t know how to interpret that so he just pretended he knew what Sam was talking about.

“Yeah I’m sorry Sam. It’s not your fault you didn’t know about the timed explosives.” Dean gruffly said, realizing that his brother was probably feeling guilty about that. He tried to reassure him, giving Sam a smile. “Luckily Cas got me out in time otherwise we would all be dead.”

Instead of alleviating his brother’s concern, Dean’s words seemed to alarm Sam who sat up straight and stared at his brother with furrowed brows.

“What are you talking about Dean? Why do you think you’re here?”

“Uhhh…” Again, Dean looked at Cas who seemed to be trying to tell him something with his face but the alien’s grasp on human expressions were still lacking so it only made him look constipated.

Finally, Cas decided to step in, saving Dean from a potential train wreck of a conversation. “Don’t worry Sam, Dean must have hit his head a little when he fainted. He’s probably mistaking his dream for reality.” When Dean opened his mouth to protest, Cas shot him a pointed look and Dean decided against speaking up. He pressed his mouth together in irritation, grabbing Castiel’s hand and squeezing it to the point of pain. He would get his answers later.

“Right...well I’m still going to call the doctor to get a look at him. It’s not like him to just suddenly pass out while working on his car.” Sam stood up, moving purposefully like a man on a mission. “Oh and Dean if you’re still feeling unwell let Cas help you for once. You never let your husband do anything for you.”

With those parting words that shifted Dean’s entire world view, Sam left the room and closed the door. Slowly, still in shock, Dean turned his head to look at Cas.

“...husband?” Dean asked, confused and a variety of other conflicting feelings stirring in him. “Cas what the hell is going on? Sam didn’t even react to the fact that you’re in a human body and he just called you my _husband_. What the hell happened in that chamber Cas? I deserve to know.”

“Dean.” Cas sighed, the most human gesture Dean had ever seen him make. It still weirded out Dean and it would definitely take some getting used to. “When your government ‘captured’ me I stayed willingly because I felt, from one of the researchers, a memory of you. That researcher was connected to Sam and through Sam, I found you. It was perhaps wrong of me to omit that detail but I find that humans tend to be less approachable and accepting of things like me if they don’t feel in complete control.”

Castiel stared imploringly at Dean, trying to will the man to understand. He gently held Dean’s now slack grasp on his hands, clasping the human’s hands in between his own. “You were a human who had no knowledge of beings like me and I just wanted to be near you. Staying in captivity was one way to achieve that. When the government decided I was a threat, they also endangered your life which I could not allow. The reason why Sam didn’t react and why you can trust me when I say we are safe, is because I altered everyone’s memories.”

“What the hell Cas…” Dean couldn’t help but breathe out, shocked at the true scope of Cas’ powers. He pulled his hands away from Castiel, ignoring the alien’s wounded look and leaned back trying to keep some distance between them. “Then how can I believe anything we had was real? If you can change our memories whenever you feel like it.”

“Dean.” Cas said, his tone fierce in its conviction. He shortened the distance Dean just created between them, holding his hand again. “Please believe me when I say I would never do anything to harm you. I would never alter your memory without your express permission. I made sure you would be the only one to remember everything because our interactions were genuine. Our friendship was, as well. I would never violate someone’s privacy in such a way but this was an extenuating circumstance and I had to do damage control. They were a danger to you, to us, and I needed to keep you safe.”

It was a relief to Dean that Cas had at least spared his memories from whatever wacky alien probing he did. He could tell that Castiel was sincere, and it was easy to believe him. However there were still parts of the story that Dean didn’t know yet. “What do the others remember?” Dean asked, needing to know so he could get his story straight. He felt some guilt at potentially hiding this from his brother but he knew that once things died down, he would explain everything to Sam.

Earnest, and not willing to keep anything secret from Dean now that they were on the same page, Castiel explained himself. “I altered their memories only at the first point of contact between the humans and I. I changed it so that instead of discovering me in the fields, they found nothing, despite their reports and scans. Human brains are fascinating, if something is changed then they automatically fill in the blanks. It was easy enough after that to guide their memories and allow them to create their own versions of what happened afterwards. The new memories shared a consistent theme of disappointment that they hadn’t found anything even though they were so sure, and the subsequent massive amounts of research they had to do now that they were back to square one. Sam still works for them, of course, but now he’s more of a book researcher rather than doing field research.”

“Cas…” Dean closed his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted and aged. It was some heavy knowledge, being the only human spared from Castiel’s mind wipe. There was still something that bothered Dean though, something Sam had said. “Why did Sam call you my husband?” Dean exhaled slowly as he spoke, finally coming to terms with the fact that they weren’t in immediate danger and that Cas was here with him alive. He relaxed and almost slumped over with how tense he’d been holding himself.

Gently pushing on Dean’s chest, Cas helped him lie down on the bed, laying his head on the soft pillow. Dean opened his eyes so that he could focus on the conversation, but was captivated by the soft look in Cas’ gaze, the small fond smile on his lips.

The alien looked nervous, and Dean watched with hooded eyes as Cas opened his mouth hesitantly, licking his lips. “I wanted to be your everything. I’ve seen from the many human minds I’ve encountered that marriage is a promise of forever and I thought that was the closest I could be to you. I know I should have asked first but-”

Before the alien could ramble further, Dean shushed him, tugging Cas by his arm until the alien carefully laid next to him on the bed. They stared at each other, Cas in tense anticipation and Dean with a tired smile. “It’s okay Cas. I’m fine with it.”

Closing his eyes again, Dean yawned. Castiel tentatively wrapped his arms around him, his body warm and solid against the alien’s. Dean would usually protest because he was Dean Winchester and didn’t cuddle but he figured he would make an exception for Cas. The alien felt comfortable and smelled like fresh rain and foggy mornings. It was a good scent. “You see Cas,” Dean mumbled as he felt himself slip into a deep sleep. “The first thing you should know about humanity is that we make shit up as we go. So, welcome to the club.”

As Castiel felt Dean’s breathing even out, he smiled, hiding his expression in Dean’s hair. He pressed a light kiss on the human’s messy locks, closing his eyes as well and sighing in contentment. He didn’t need sleep but even the government themselves wouldn’t be able to pry Castiel away from Dean at that moment. It was gratifying knowing the human trusted him enough to sleep in his presence. It made something warm and consuming rise in him, an overwhelming need to make sure his human stayed safe and happy. Castiel was happy. For the first time since he lost Dean all those millennia ago, he felt complete.

xxxxxx

After the doctors deemed him healthy enough to leave, Sam drove them all back to the house. Dean put up a token protest, insisting that he drive his precious Impala, but Sam and Castiel adamantly refused. Eventually he relented, though not without a lot of grumbling and a little traitorous glare at Cas who knew he was technically not injured.

“Well, this is it.” Dean eyed Cas, trying to gauge his reaction as the alien got out of the car. Cas’ expression was fond as he looked at Dean and it was still such a novelty to him that with a more human visage, Cas seemed so much more expressive.

“It’s nice Dean.” Cas quietly commented, as they walked up the steps and into the house. Sam gave them a strange look, probably questioning why they were acting as if it was the first time Castiel had seen the house. “I can tell it is precious to you.”

“Yeah.” Dean placed a hand on the door, touching the weathered paint before shutting it. “It’s the first place Sammy and I got when we finally had steady jobs. It’s a fixer upper but it’s ours.”

Dean radiated pride and it was easy to see that despite their unstable family life, the brothers had built a place for themselves where they felt safe. Sam left the two to their own devices, trusting Cas to make sure Dean didn’t strain himself too much.

They went through a tour of the house, with Dean pointing out the two bedrooms and the various areas. The living room, kitchen, and study were all downstairs while the bedrooms and bathrooms were upstairs. Their garage was not actually attached to the house but rather a separate structure next to it.

Cas nodded along, trailing after Dean as he was introduced to bathrooms and kitchens. When asked, Cas revealed that he didn’t technically need human sustenance nor did he need to go to the bathroom but it would probably be mildly suspicious to Sam. If he willed it, he could make his body function just like a normal human’s, and he wanted to experience humanity as personally as possible.

It was only after the brief tour that Dean finally realized he had no idea where Cas would be sleeping.

“I believe I will be sleeping in the same room as you.” Castiel replied to his question, one that left Dean briefly unperturbed.

“Cas…” Dean didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t like he was entirely against it. Besides, Sam was under the false memory that he and Cas were married so it would probably look suspicious if they tried to sleep in separate rooms. Dean sighed, meeting Cas’ blue eyes with a pensive look. “Okay but we’ll definitely need to discuss this later.”

“Of course.” The alien nodded, before turning to go back to the kitchen. “I wish to try food now. From what I’ve gathered, humans quite enjoy it.”

With a short chuckle Dean followed. If he walked a little too close to Cas at times, his side warm with the alien’s presence, well there was no one there to judge him for it. He could get used to this, this easy companionship and the way Castiel seemed to make his days brighter was something he didn’t think he could give up. It was a good thing he was married to the alien then.

Dean chanced a glance at Cas, the alien’s side profile revealing nothing about his mood nor the thoughts within his head. He felt he would still need to discuss with Castiel what human marriage actually meant, and the implications that came with it, but for now he was content. His steps felt lighter and even with the threat of the apocalypse still looming, it was easier to relax when he knew the alien would be by his side. At the very least he wasn’t alone in carrying this burden and that helped lessen the stress.

Dean didn’t know how to thank Castiel. He didn’t know how to put into words how much the alien has changed his life and made it a little less lonely. So instead he cooked up a storm, creating the best hamburger he could for Cas, hoping to repay him in some way.

Cas seemed to understand, his smile soft as he took the plate of food and later, once he tried the burger, it was blinding.

“This makes me very happy.” Castiel muttered through his mouthful, chewing slowly because of the massive bite he just took.

“Damn right. I make the best burgers.” Dean replied, taking a bite of his own as he called out to Sam, telling him the food was ready.

When his brother finally joined them the trio ate quietly, the silence only broken up by casual conversation.

It was calming and it was exactly what Dean needed to feel at peace.

xxxxxx

The first time it happened, it was an accident.

Dean had left the house, distracted and his mind miles away as he went through the list of cars he had to fix up by tonight.

“Bye Cas.” The usual greeting was accompanied by a kiss on Cas’ lips and it wasn’t until he’d driven off in his car that he realized that was the first time he’d ever kissed Cas. The alien’s startled, but happy expression was seared into his brain and Dean barely prevented himself from having a mild panic over this development. It was fine, he could handle this. He was a grown ass man and literally married to Cas, even if he never did discuss the marriage situation with the alien. God, he was probably taking advantage of the clueless alien. Cas didn’t even know what marriage meant much less all the physical aspects of it.

Dean groaned, barely restraining himself from banging his head into the steering wheel. Instead, he took a deep breath, his hands tightened on the wheel in determination. Later, when he got home, he was going to have to talk to Cas but for now he shook himself out of his reverie and focused on his task at hand. Work first, then relationship problems.

Lately, because Cas didn’t exactly have a job he could do, the alien had taken up gardening. Their house now looked like something out of a hallmark movie, the surrounding areas around it filled with flower boxes and the backyard overflowing with fresh vegetables and herbs. Sam and Dean had given in pretty easily to Cas’ requests, trying to support his hobby as much as they could. They drew the line at honey bee boxes though, despite Cas’ protests that bees were the most important part of gardening.

When Dean came home it was to the image of Cas carefully moving the dirt around with his trowel, his movements sure and steady. It certainly didn’t help assuage Dean’s guilt, seeing the alien covered in dirt and hair adorably tousled. The alien was literally thousands of years older than him but when it came to certain aspects of humanity, Cas was surprisingly naive and innocent.

“Cas, hey,” Dean greets, his voice soft as he stands next to the alien. Castiel squinted up at him, the sun shining in his eyes, even as he smiled.

“Dean,” Cas shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand, instantly noticing Dean’s hesitance. “You wish to speak with me?”

“Yeah I…” Dean cleared his throat, his hand reached out to help Cas up from the ground. “Let’s talk inside.”

Castiel followed him quietly as they settled on the living room couch. Castiel had a good idea as to what Dean wanted to talk about, but he knew it was always best to let Dean approach him when he was ready. Castiel knew exactly what he was getting into when he altered the memories of everyone. In fact, at the time he was more worried about Dean’s reaction to the marriage factor and it was a pleasant surprise that Dean seemed to accept it readily enough.

Now, his worries grew again. What if Dean wanted Castiel to change everyone’s memories again? To alter it so that Dean wasn’t married to Castiel and the celestial being was just another friend of his. It would hurt, but if Dean requested it, he wasn’t going to deny his wishes.

“Cas, I wanted to apologize for this morning. I reacted on instinct and...” Dean paused before he put into words what had happened this morning, his embarrassment creeping in. He glanced away for a moment before he gathered himself and resolutely met Cas’ eyes, wanting the alien to know he was sincere in his apology. “It won’t happen again.”

Castiel frowned, reaching out to hold onto Dean’s wrist, the human’s pulse jumping at his touch. Dean didn’t pull away, his body tense but willing to go along with what Cas wanted.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” The alien asked, using his grip on Dean to pull the man a little closer. He was met with resistance at first but soon enough the human followed his lead, his reluctance melted as Castiel pulled until Dean was braced above him.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for.” The human’s voice was hoarse. Castiel could sense the guilt in his voice, and that wouldn’t do. He didn’t like his human feeling anything but positive emotions.

“I do, Dean.” Cas used one hand to intertwine his fingers with Dean’s, holding on tight as he brought them close to his mouth. He pressed a light kiss on the back of Dean’s hand, feeling more than hearing the slight hitch in Dean’s breath as his lips grazed the human’s knuckles. “I understand what marriage entails and I want every part of it, with you. If you’ll have me, I promise to cherish you forever.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, a battle warring within him. On one hand he truly did love Castiel and wanted to spend his life with him, on the other hand, the physical aspects of the relationship seemed daunting when it was coupled with the intense feelings he felt for Cas.

Despite his cautious nature, he wanted so badly to accept what Castiel was offering. It was a promise of a future that Dean never thought he would have. He always assumed Sam would find someone and then move out of the house, to go live his own life. Afterwards, all Dean envisioned for himself was a lonely life, one in which he would die alone. He’d never been one for long term relationships. He wished for them yes, but he was too guarded to let anyone in. With Cas it was different. The alien had literally been in his mind and had seen all the darkness he had to offer. Still, Cas wanted him, and for once in his life, he wanted to choose for himself.

“Yes.” Dean whispered it softly, these words that took him so much courage to say. “I want it.” Dean wanted everything, but it was so much and too heavy for him to verbalize. There was something about Castiel that made him vulnerable, and it was that vulnerability that made him both breathless with want and terrified of the future.

“Okay, Dean.” Castiel replied, and even though Dean had his eyes closed, he could hear the grin in the alien’s voice. “Can I kiss you now? I hear it’s enjoyable and I did like the one we had this morning.”

Dean pressed his smile into Cas as an answer, both grinning a little too wide for the kiss to be comfortable. It didn’t matter, it was them and it was perfect. Letting out a little huff of laughter, Dean pulled back to look into Cas eyes, the affection in his soft gaze warming him.

“Let’s try that again.”

Without waiting for Cas’ reply, Dean leaned down and captured the alien’s lips with his. Cas gripped tightly to Dean’s clothing, trying to pull the human closer. He was eager with his kisses, uncoordinated but enduring. They spent what felt like an eternity on that couch, learning each other through kisses and soft touches.

“We should do that more often.” Castiel panted out, his gravelly voice and serious expression a contrast to his kiss swollen lips and the slight flush high on his cheeks.

“Of course.”

They didn’t talk much after that.

xxxxxx

Dean expected some sort of major change in his life once he started a romantic relationship with Cas. Castiel was not only the first long term relationship he’d had, he was also an alien.

To his pleasant surprise, life moved on much the same, except now he had someone to kiss goodbye and to hold at night. At first, it took some getting used to, but after a few memorable conversations with Castiel, Dean lost some of his hesitance and learned to be affectionate with the alien. It came easily to him now.

Sometimes Castiel would come in after a taxing round of tending to the gardens, flushed and sweaty. Dean would pull him close, kissing his lips and grimacing at the dirt he sometimes got in his mouth.

“You need a shower.” Dean crinkled his nose, a mock look of disgust on his face.

Castiel leaned in, lightly biting at the muscle of Dean’s neck. He chuckled when he felt Dean’s hands tighten on his hips, a barely discernable groan falling from the human’s lips.

“Join me.”

It was certainly a tempting proposition but Dean reluctantly pulled away, remembering what he’d been busy with before Castiel came in.

“I would, but I need to finish up dinner.” Dean could already smell the food smoking a little and he could tell Cas was disappointed but understanding.

“Maybe another time.” Castiel pecked Dean on the lips before heading upstairs to shower. Dean took a deep breath and willed away the reactions his body tended to have when around Cas. They weren’t at that stage yet and they were taking it slow. Or at least that’s what Dean thought they were doing. They haven’t had a discussion about it and outside of kissing, Dean was tentative to push for more.

It was fine, he liked the pace they were going at. It allowed Dean to enjoy Cas’ presence without the pressure of something more, and it made him much happier. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he headed back into the kitchen to finish up. Sam would be coming home soon as well. Since he owned his own mechanic shop, he usually came home earlier than Sam. Thus, he was the one who cooked most of the time. Dean and Sam had tried to teach Cas to cook once and it had ended in disaster. It seemed the alien understood the step by step process of cooking but when it came to balancing out the taste of the food with spices, he failed miserably.

The alien was still new to many aspects of humanity and it was always an adventure trying to teach Castiel.

xxxxxx

It was inevitable that his world would come crashing down on him just as Dean felt happy with his life.

Foolishly, he’d pushed the apocalypse situation to the back of his mind, instead choosing to revel in domestic bliss with Cas.

The day of reckoning came much faster than either of them anticipated and it left them fumbling for a solution. The only reason they had any sort of warning was because there had been a sudden spike of dark energy, the void within the earth gaping wide open. It was strong enough that even in his human form and with purposefully dulled senses, Castiel had felt the darkness rising. There was a certain hungry emptiness in the air, as if all the life was being sucked out of the planet. Soon the Leviathan would come out of the core, and they only had a few days to figure out a plan and fight back.

The tension was palpable between the two men, both scouring the books and calling any contacts they could to try and find a way to stop the Leviathan. Sam had questioned them, worried about how stressed they both seemed to be. They wouldn’t be able to restore the memories that Cas had deleted but they could at least explain to him what had happened and what was approaching. However, Dean adamantly refused to involve his brother. Especially if it turned out they wouldn’t be able to save the world after all. He wanted his brother to live their last days in peace, not worried about death and the fate of the world. Dean would not put that burden on his brother. Castiel understood, but still he would look at him sadly, knowing it was killing Dean inside to keep something so important from Sam.

It was only after Dean promised Castiel they would explain everything to Sam (if) when they survived that Castiel let it go. They had more pressing matters.

The night before the Leviathan would crawl out and rupture the world, they were no closer to a plan. Castiel had suggested he fight the Leviathan alone, in his true form. It would be a devastating battle, most likely destroying most of the planet and its population but at least if he used all his energy to fight the Leviathan the Earth would have a chance at survival. Dean had selfishly refused, he didn’t want Castiel to die for them. When Dean tried to convince Castiel to leave the planet and save himself, the alien had given him a glare so fierce it had made Dean look down in shame. There was no where left to go for Castiel, his fate was by Dean’s side. Whether it be death or destruction.

That night, Dean held Castiel close, as if trying to protect him from the coming storm. They didn’t sleep and they didn’t speak. There was nothing left to say that they didn’t already know. Between these two lovers, there was only a tragic sort of sadness and love, one that crossed the universe and time to meet. It wouldn’t be enough to stop the Leviathan, but it was enough for them to be at peace.

On the day of the apocalypse, Dean and Castiel stood outside, watching the dusk with weary eyes. The clouds were in strange patterns and already the news channels were reporting minor earthquakes happening throughout the world. Soon it would be over. Sam had relented to Dean’s request to stay home today, even though he had work. The three of them sat down on the porch, drinking a few beers. Sam didn’t question it, maybe he had an inkling about what was coming, maybe he knew better than to ask. Either way, they waited in silence.

The silence was soon broken by the sound of cracking, almost like the rumbling of thunder and the cacophony of crashing waves. Dean glanced at his family one last time, trying to burn their image into his mind. To his left there was Sam, his little brother and the one whom he’d raised with all his best efforts. Time had aged him and Dean noticed the laugh lines Sam wore, his stubble giving him a mature look. He was taller than Dean now, and much too good of a man to die like this. The sadness he felt wasn’t for himself, but rather for those good people he knew would cease to exist.

He thought about Bobby and Ellen, the kind but gruff couple who had taken in the Winchesters when they had nowhere else to go.

He thought about Charlie and Kevin, both amazing people who had given him their loyalty when he needed it. Even if they didn’t remember him or the events that happened, he still remembered them fondly.

Finally, Dean looked at Cas to find the alien staring back at him, something unreadable in his gaze. His hold on the alien’s hand tightened as he felt the first sting of tears well in his eyes. Dean thought they would have forever, but at least they’d had time to love each other. Even if this was the end.

As he stared at Castiel, the world seemed to brighten. When the light shone on Castiel’s face, the look reflected in his expression was not one of resignation but rather hope and wonder. Sam let out a strangled gasp next to him and Dean turned his attention back to the sky. What he saw didn’t make much sense to him. There were falling stars, ones that shined bright enough to cover the darkening night with brilliant flares of light. They danced in a practiced pattern and it was only when Dean looked closely that he saw the tendrils of dark smoke being dragged into the sky by the streaks of light. It was like watching a tornado in reverse, gusts of wind picking up and an unnatural howling piercing the air as the darkness tried to fight back. Slowly but steadily, the streams of light surrounded the darkness and flew back into the atmosphere.

Just as suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone. One light seemed to float in the sky for a moment, and Castiel suddenly tightened his grip on Dean’s hand. Dean looked over at Cas again and he recognized that expression, the one that seemed as if Cas was a million miles away. It was the one he used when he was communicating with someone through their mind. Glancing back at the light, it flickered for a few moments, hovering, before it quickly flew out of the sky and into space.

All three of them were stunned into silence and it wasn’t until Castiel spoke that Dean realized he was just as breathless with wonder.

“Dean…” His voice was hoarse with disuse but his words were heavy with gratitude. Castiel met his eyes again and it was with a distant sort of surprise that Dean realized the alien had tears flowing down his face. “They came to save us.”

“I thought they had abandoned you.” Dean asked, he noticed Sam’s confusion from his other side and made a note to explain everything to his little brother after today. He reached out to gently wipe away Cas’ tears, as the alien silently weeped. Castiel pressed Dean’s hand to his cheek, closing his eyes as he soaked in the comforting touch.

“Hannah was the last light who left. She said that despite my mistakes, we were family. They said they understood why I chose to stay and that they gave me their blessings.” Castiel breathed in shakily, his smile soft and fragile. “They forgave me.”

Dean pulled Castiel in close, resting the alien’s head in the crook of his shoulder. He’d been so absorbed in his own issues that he hadn’t seen how deep Castiel’s guilt went. That maybe he too, wanted forgiveness.

He felt Sam wrap his arms around them as well, understanding that they both needed comfort. Dean felt a surge of fondness for his brother. He knew Sam had many questions but he was putting them aside and prioritizing Dean and Cas’ emotional well being.

“They’re your family.” Dean eventually verbalized, his words muffled by the hug. He said it as if it explained everything, as if that one sentiment was what had saved the entire Earth from the apocalypse.

“Yes.” Castiel confirmed, joy and love in his voice. Sam hugged them a little harder, and Dean closed his eyes as well, finally accepting the fact that they weren’t going to die.

Dean didn’t believe in miracles, nor did he believe in God, but he believed in family. And maybe, between a damaged world, a rebellious alien, and the patchwork family that consisted of two brothers, it was enough to stop the apocalypse.

“Come on let’s go back in.” Dean stood up, his limbs ached from staying in one position for so long. He felt Sam’s stare on him and he knew they had much to explain. “We have a lot to tell you, Sammy.”

xxxxxx

The talk with Sam went as well as expected. He worked with the government tracking inexplicable phenomenons and was a scientist in his own right, but when it came to aliens, even he was skeptical.

Once Castiel demonstrated his otherworldliness through some flashy light shows, via his eyes, Sam finally decided to believe them. It was easier to explain after that, and they recounted what really happened in their past, rather than the fabricated memories Sam had.

“I knew there was something off.” Sam finally commented, after he got over the initial sting of hurt he felt at being left out of the loop. He understood Dean wasn’t the one who chose to change their memories, otherwise Dean would have insisted Sam’s memories remain untampered. Castiel had reacted in a panic and had done what he thought would protect all of them. It was better this way, without the memories to back it up, Sam had plausible deniability in case this ever came back to bite them in the ass. “There were portions of my memory that felt like a dream and some that felt realistic. Some parts didn’t add up, but I thought it was just old age getting to me.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam’s semi-joke about his age. “We’re not even forty yet.” Dean couldn’t help but add, even if he sometimes felt years beyond his age.

He was proud of his brother for coming close to figuring out something was wrong, but also a part of him felt guilty that they wouldn’t be able to restore Sam’s memories. Sam reassured them though. He was disappointed, but at the same time, it was the memories they made together from here on out that mattered.

Sam’s words didn’t stop Dean from calling him a sappy idiot but it did help alleviate some of the guilt from their shoulders. He felt lighter, now that his brother knew the whole truth and it would make conversations easier now. He wouldn’t have to carefully watch his words in conversations. He’d already accidentally called Cas an alien a few times, but always covered it up by saying it was his nickname for Castiel. Sam seemed to buy it at the time, but now they wouldn’t have to pretend.

Dean and Castiel answered Sam’s questions for hours. They ranged from questions about their past to curiosity over Castiel’s history and alien physiology. As a scientist, Castiel fascinated Sam, and Dean knew that his excitement would take days to fade. Eventually they called it a night, exhausted after the almost apocalypse they’d experienced.

They fell into a dreamless sleep, a weight lifted off their shoulders and a new future ahead of them.

xxxxxx

“I’m heading out!” Sam called out as he put on his shoes.

Dean, who was watching T.V. on the couch with Castiel, turned to face his little brother. “Where to?” He’d noticed that Sam seemed to be going out more, sometimes for several days in a row. It was reminiscent to the time that Sam didn’t remember, when Sam had been involved in something big. He hoped it wasn’t anything bad, but judging by the way Sam tried to avoid his eyes, it probably was.

“Oh, just going out. For a drink.” Sam shifted nervously, grabbing his bag as he kept one hand on the doorknob.

“For a drink?” Dean questioned, his eyes narrowing at his brother’s obvious reluctance to answer. He ignored the ache from Castiel’s pointed jab into his ribs, the alien glaring at him to let it go.

“Fine, okay.” Sam threw his hands up, his bitch face coming out. “I’m dating someone.”

At this, Dean sat up straighter in surprise, turning almost fully to face Sam. He was happy for Sam but at the same time, his brother had made no mention of this mysterious person he’d been dating. In fact, they’d probably been dating for a while, seeing as Sam’s disappearing act started a month ago.

“Well…” Dean struggled for words to say but luckily Castiel stepped in, obviously sensing his discomfort.

“We’re happy for you Sam.” The alien said, his gaze sincere and a smile on his lips.

Sam seemed to brighten at that, and grinned at the two of them. “Thanks, Cas. I think I really like her.”

When Sam seemed to notice Dean’s frown, he sighed and walked over to his brother, an apology already forming. “I know I should have told you, Dean. Jess and I...it was complicated and I didn’t want to introduce her to you until everything was resolved.”

“It’s fine. Bring her around for dinner next week.” Dean finally replied, choosing to accept that although Sam would always be his precious little brother, he didn’t need to tell Dean everything.

“Of course, Dean.” Sam’s smile was soft and it made him look years younger. There was an almost wistful feeling growing in Dean, a sudden realization that his brother had started seriously dating and soon, he would move on in life. They were all maturing, growing old, and it was starting to show. Sam glanced at his watch, wincing when he saw the time. “Damn it I’m going to be late. Jess is going to kill me. I need to go, bye guys.”

As Sam practically ran out the door, Dean shouted out a parting comment, unable to resist. “Barely dating and you’re already whipped, Sammy!”

“Shut up, jerk!” Was his distant reply, his words punctuated by the slamming of a car door and the revving of an engine.

“Bitch.” Dean said fondly, even as he knew Sam wouldn’t be able to hear him. Castiel gave him a similarly affectionate look, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “What was that for?” Dean asked, not in protest, but rather out of curiosity. He held Cas close, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss as well.

“Nothing, I just…” Cas seemed to struggle with his words for a moment, before settling. “You’re a good brother, Dean.”

Trying to hide his bashful embarrassment, Dean rolled his eyes, not refuting or supporting Cas’ claim. Castiel always seemed to see the hidden parts of Dean, the soft parts that he didn’t want others to know. The alien knew him well, though, and it was starting to dawn on him that Castiel would always know him intimately.

“Yeah, whatever.”

It wasn’t a denial and that was a start. With time, Dean would learn to accept the parts of himself he viewed as a weakness. Hopefully with Castiel by his side.

xxxxxx

It was late one night when Dean walked into Sam’s room unannounced. Ignoring the annoyed glare from his little brother, Dean stiffly sat on the bed, shoving Sam a little so he would move over.

Sam opened his mouth to protest, but quickly closed it when he noticed the way Dean was staring at his hands and not at Sam. He closed the book he’d been reading and put it down on his nightstand before turning to face Dean, giving his brother his full attention.

“Is there something wrong?”

Dean took a deep breath, a grimace marring his face as he met Sam’s furrowed gaze.

“Okay don’t laugh-this is a serious question-do you think Cas is attracted to me?”

Sam looked at him like he was crazy, not sure if he should start laughing or if he should be worried about Dean and Castiel’s relationship. “Dean, he’s literally married to you.”

“No I mean like- okay listen, after this we’ll pretend we never had this conversation, but what I meant was that….we haven’t...” Dean made a few pointed gestures, refusing to say out loud what the issue was.

Sam looked shocked for a moment before finally giving in and bursting into laughter. “Are you telling me, that Dean I-survive-on-sex-and-one-night-stands Winchester, hasn’t slept with Cas yet?”

Dean flushed, gritting his teeth against the irritated embarrassment he felt. “Shut up, bitch. I didn’t want to push. He’s been through enough. Since Cas isn’t even from here, he might not be interested.” Dean didn’t mention the literal alien sized elephant in the room, but it was clear that it played a huge part in his concerns. He wasn’t sure if celestial beings even had sex or procreated. From what Cas has told him, they seemed to just pop into existence.

Sam sobers up then, seeing that Dean was genuinely upset and in need of advice. “Well, have you tried talking to him about it?”

Dean looked away shiftily, not meeting Sam’s eyes. “Not exactly but-”

“Dean, come on,” Sam admonished, looking to the heavens as if to ask why his brother was so dense. “Have you ever considered that Cas might not know about the whole physical aspects of human life? I mean, you did say he’s lived since time itself was barely a concept as an incorporeal being.”

“What if he’s not interested?” Dean asked, the dip of his shoulders low and hunched, giving him a defeated look.

Sam’s answer was firm but not unkind, clearly wanting to help his brother but at the same time not catering to his insecurities. “Then you deal with it and don’t push. He might be asexual for all you know, but I’m sure he’s interested in you. You’re like the star to his galaxies and he looks at you as if you created the universe itself.”

Dean nodded in understanding, even as he felt slightly self conscious about Sam’s description. He stood to leave, determined to have a talk with Castiel about the more physical aspects of their relationship.

“Good luck, Dean.” Sam said softly, as he picked up his book to continue where he left off. Dean gave him a quick smirk, all fake confidence before heading down the hall to Cas’ room. “And don’t let me hear whatever you guy’s are going to do in there!”

Dean almost stumbled, cursing his meddling little brother. Sam’s parting shot was loud enough that Castiel probably heard him from their room. Dean sighed, the sound mostly covered by the snickering coming from Sam’s room.

“What did Sam not want to hear?” Castiel asked, his expression curious as he lay stomach down on their bed, drawing in the sketchbook he had out. It was Castiel’s more recent hobby, although he seemed to only like sketching bees. An obsession that Dean still had a hard time understanding.

“Nothing it’s just-” Dean tried to deflect, his mind running in circles as he automatically tried to lie. He caught himself though, it would undo any progress he had made and it wasn’t likely he would get a chance like this again. He was still emboldened by Sam’s encouragement and he wanted to take advantage of that feeling while he still could. “Okay, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

At Dean’s admittance, Cas sat up, putting away the sketchbook before patting the bed.

“Come sit with me.” Castiel seemed to sense that Dean was nervous. They sat across from each other on the bed, almost like they were about to start a meditation session. “What’s wrong?”

Dean bit down on his reflex answer that nothing was wrong. He had to talk to Castiel, it was the only way they would get this out of the way. He couldn’t ignore this forever.

“Cas...do you know what sex is?” Dean finally decided to ask, choosing a straightforward question. Depending on Castiel’s answer they could work from there.

“Yes. It is the method most of the species on Earth use to procreate.” Cas cocked his head to the side, his eyes narrowing at Dean as he tried to figure out why Dean would ask him something like this. “Do you wish to have a child Dean? I’m sorry to tell you this, but our male bodies wouldn’t be able to bear a child-”

“No!” Dean quickly cut off Cas’ words, his frustration growing as they strayed further from the topic he wanted to talk about. “I actually wanted to ask if you would be interested in sex. With me.” Dean gestured at the space between the two of them awkwardly, hoping Castiel would understand.

“You wish to have sex with me.” Castiel processed, his words slow as he stared at Dean. “For pleasure.”

“Yes-” Dean stumbled over his words a little, ineloquent in his growing discomfort. He cleared his throat trying to finish his thought. “For that.” It was honestly a new experience for Dean to have this much difficulty over the topic of sex. Usually with his other partners it’d been easy. A few pointed looks here, a little flirting there, and they fell into bed with him. With Castiel it was different. He didn’t want to mess this up and scare Cas away, especially when there were so many unknown variables to being in a relationship with an alien.

“I would love to.” Castiel finally answered, amidst Dean’s internal agitation. Dean blinked at Castiel for a few moments, not sure if he’d heard him right.

Castiel rolled his eyes and Dean frowned, knowing that the alien had definitely picked up that human quirk from the Winchesters. Dean had learned that Castiel could be very sassy when he wanted to be, a personality trait that only made Dean love the alien more.

“You do know that sex can be performed for pleasure as well.” Castiel stated, not much of a question but rather a cheeky jab at Dean’s seeming lack of knowledge.

“Yes Castiel, I know that.” Dean couldn’t help but snap, a little annoyed that it could have been this easy and they just never discussed it. His tone softened though, when he sighed and looked away, focusing on the beige colored sheets that Castiel had picked out. “I just wasn’t sure you wanted it with me.”

“Dean.” Castiel brought a hand up and rested it on Dean’s cheek, turning his face towards the alien’s. “You know I want everything with you. I thought I made it clear before. I didn't initiate anything sexual with you because I thought you needed more time.”

  
Dean shrugged, closing his eyes as he let Castiel pull him close. “I guess I didn’t get the memo.”

Castiel kissed him, gentle at first, the barest brushing of lips, before deepening it. The alien pushed until Dean laid down on the bed, settling on top of his body. Dean couldn’t help the moan that tore out of him, as Castiel licked his way past Dean’s jaw to his neck.

“Is this clear enough for you?” The alien’s voice was lower than usual, affected by his arousal, and _oh god_ \- Dean realized with a jolt that they were going to have sex. Right here, right now.

“Cas-” Dean tried to speak but the words flew out of his mind when Cas made quick work of his shirt and started mapping his chest with his hands. Castiel seemed to make it his own personal mission to touch every piece of skin he could find, his mouth following with nips and small licks wherever he could reach.

“You’re so beautiful, Dean. When you were with me eons ago, it was beauty in the form of brightness and purity. Here, you are rough and weathered, like a polished jewel.” Castiel kissed his way down to Dean’s waist, tugging at his pants and baring Dean’s body to him.

Once Dean was completely naked, Castiel took a moment to stare, his eyes hooded. Dean wasn’t much better. He was taking deep breaths, meeting Cas’ gaze and feeling himself drowning in the hunger reflected in them. They hadn’t even gotten to the fun part yet and already Dean felt like he was going to come.

Feeling a little impatient himself, Castiel quickly and perfunctorily took off all his clothes. He smirked a little when he heard Dean’s breathing pick up, a small hitch to them that told Castiel Dean liked what he saw. Castiel hadn’t put much thought into the creation of his physical body, but it made Dean look at him with those heated eyes so it was enough for him. Castiel leaned back down, running his hand over Dean’s body until he reached his cock. He lightly stroked him a few times, feeling the tension in Dean’s body as he struggled to hold himself still.

Cas leaned down, his mouth hovering over Dean’s length, his hot breath ghosting over the tip. He flicked his eyes up to meet Dean’s, the human’s arousal written across his face so openly, it made a part of Castiel want to see more. He wanted to push Dean to the edge. He wanted to make him come.

“I wish to taste you.” Castiel muttered, his mouth watering at the prospect of feeling Dean, full in his mouth. “May I?”

“Fuck.” Dean threw his head back, thrown off by the polite way Castiel had asked for permission. It really did something to him, knowing Castiel wanted this just as much as he did. “Yes, Cas-”

He couldn’t say anything more. The moment he said yes, Castiel sealed his mouth around the tip of his cock, sucking gently. Dean’s hands flew to Castiel’s hair, holding on tight but not pushing, merely grounding both of them. He let the alien explore at his own pace, giving bitten off moans and grunts whenever Castiel did something particularly mind blowing.

“Oh fuck!” He shouted out, when Castiel seemed to be done exploring and decided to just try and take as much of Dean in his mouth as he could. Turns out that Castiel could fit all of him, which was impressive in his own right because Dean wasn’t exactly small. The alien didn’t even seem to have a gag reflex.

Soon, he couldn’t hold on any longer and he started slowly thrusting up, the alien holding on to his hips as he let Dean use his mouth. It was filthy, and the sounds coming from Cas, those moans and sometimes choked off whimpers, were too much for Dean.

“Cas-!” Dean was about to come, he could feel it. Suddenly, Castiel removed his mouth, wrapping his fingers tight around the base of Dean’s cock. Dean let out a whimper, a gasping breath falling out of his mouth as his body tried to come but couldn’t. It was near painful in it’s intensity, and Dean almost sat up in protest. “Cas, what the hell?”

“Shhh Dean.” Cas soothed as he left a gentle kiss on the tip of Dean’s cock, the sensation too much after almost coming. Dean jolted, his body trying to thrust up and he groaned, unsatisfied. There was pre-come smeared on Castiel’s lips and he licked them away slowly, enjoying the fact that Dean was watching him as he did so. “I want you to come when I’m inside you.”

Dean froze at that, the silence after Castiel’s words punctuated with their heaving breaths.

Cas’ confidence seemed to waver at Dean’s hesitance, the alien’s voice noticeably more subdued. “Unless you don’t want to…?”

“No, I-” Dean cut himself off, frustrated at his inability to word what he wanted to say. He let his hands release their grip on Cas’ hair, using one to look through the bedside drawer while the other he flung across his eyes. “It’s been a while so just…”

Dean didn’t know why he was acting so weird about this, Castiel wasn’t one of his clients, hell, he wasn’t even one of the people Dean had one night stands with. It was just...different. He’d never liked being vulnerable to people he didn’t trust and he’d only bottomed once, with a person he’d slept with for a week. He’d given so many people liberties with his body that to him, this was one part of sex that was his own. That Dean had control over.

Dean blinked at the sudden reappearance of light when Castiel gently moved his arm, wanting Dean to meet his eyes.

“Don’t hide from me.” Castiel said, his voice soft but stern. He laced his hand with Dean’s and pressed it above the human’s head, leaning over to give him a kiss on the mouth. “What’s wrong?”

Dean felt his heart melt at Castiel’s careful consideration, the way he always put Dean first and catered to his needs. He needed to get a grip. This was Castiel, if he could trust anyone with this, it was the alien who’d spent millenias with past him and traversed the galaxies trying to find him. He had nothing to worry about.

Dean smiled, his expression open and relieved. Castiel seemed to sense the change in his mood and smiled back, giving him another kiss.

“Nothing’s wrong Cas, I was just nervous that’s all.”

“Okay.” Castiel acquiesced, after a moment of careful consideration. The human wasn’t lying to him so he would accept his words at face value. “If I do something wrong tell me to stop.”

“I will.” Dean replied, untangling his hand from Cas before pushing at the alien’s shoulders. He handed him the lube he’d found and the condom, not wanting a mess. “Now hurry up and open me up.”

“Bossy little human.” Castiel said, even as he smiled and followed Dean’s orders. Dean’s snarky reply was cut off by a yelp when Castiel touched his hole with lube cold fingers. Castiel quickly rubbed the substance between his fingers to heat it up, pressing a gentle kiss of apology on Dean’s hip as he shifted down. Castiel slowly slid a finger in and started licking and biting at the sensitive skin on Dean’s inner thighs, realizing a bit belatedly that he really liked doing it. Dean seemed to enjoy it too, his vocal moans an indication of his pleasure. One finger soon became two, then three. Castiel distracted the human whenever it seemed like the stretch might be too much, switching between biting bruises into Dean’s thighs and licking at his cock.

He didn’t want any risk of injury to Dean, so he added a fourth finger, grinning at the whine of pleasure Dean let out when he found his prostate. The human body was fascinating, and it was dawning on Castiel that he really did like playing with Dean’s. He enjoyed pleasuring the human, and he definitely enjoyed Dean’s facial expressions, the dazed look in his eyes as arousal took over.

“Cas,” Dean rasped out, his body sweating profusely from the continuous pleasure it had to endure. “I can’t hold on much longer.”

Deeming him ready, Castiel pulled his fingers out before opening the condom packet, sliding it on with ease. As preparation, in the event that Dean wanted to have sex, he’d “educated” himself with videos from the internet. He used that term loosely because it was mostly porn videos and a lot of self experimenting before he figured out what was good and what wasn’t.

He quickly lubed himself up, groaning at the first touch of his hand on his neglected cock. He’d been so focused on Dean he’d pushed his own needs to the back of his mind. Dean’s whine of impatience pulled him out from the haze of pleasure he’d fallen into and he quickly settled between Dean’s legs, opened invitingly.

“This might be easier if you were on your hands and knees.” Castiel warned, his worry cutting through his arousal. The human body was very fragile and he’d seen some pretty horrifying parts of the internet looking for porn. He didn’t want to hurt Dean.

“It’s fine. I want to see your face.” Dean dismissed Cas’ words, wrapping his legs around the alien to tug his hips forward. “Come on.”

Giving a filthy open-mouthed kiss to Dean, he used one hand to brace himself above the human and the other to guide his cock into Dean. It was tight, and he grunted in concentration as he pushed slowly. He could hear Dean’s hitched breaths next to his ear, the occasional moan or whine of discomfort coming through. He slowed down whenever he felt the human tense, stroking Dean’s cock to distract him from the burn. He could tell it wasn’t painful for the human, it was just a stretch and it would take a while to get used to.

After what felt like an eternity, with a lot of kisses traded in between deep breaths, Castiel bottomed out. He sat up, using his arms to lift up Dean’s legs, pulling him closer as he stared at the spot where he was connected to Dean. It was intoxicating, being this close to the human. It was like they were merged into one and he couldn’t help the way he slowly pulled back out before thrusting shallowly back in, his breathing heavy with arousal.

“Fuck.” Castiel murmured, the curse word slipping out of him amidst the overwhelming sensations he felt. Dean groaned loudly at that, loving the fact that he’d unraveled the alien enough to pull such vulgarities out of him. As Castiel set up a slow, punishing rhythm, he could feel his control deteriorating. He clenched his eyes tight, trying to focus even as Dean’s body kept pulling him back in.

He heard a rustling, and it wasn’t until Dean’s moans turned into a startled gasp that his eyes flew open, seeing the awed expression on Dean’s face.

“What-” Castiel’s question was cut off when Dean reached out, his eyes and hands focused on something behind Cas. Before he could turn and look, Castiel felt the mind numbing sensation of his mate coming into contact with his true form. He yelled out, shoving in hard as his hips gave an involuntary thrust. Dean fell back onto the bed again, shaking in pleasure even as he tried to keep his eyes open.

“Cas, your wings…” Dean panted out, cheeks flushed and hands trembling even as he tried to reach out again. Castiel stopped him, holding Dean’s hand with his, trying to get his bearings.

Dean, for his part, could only stare, stunned by the beautiful picture Castiel made. His skin had a healthy flush, his hair was a mess, but most importantly, there were giant wings on his back that weren’t there before. Dean had heard the rustling of feathers, and felt something brush against him. When he’d opened his eyes, it was to the visage of Castiel in the midst of pleasure, wings the span of the entire room stretched out and above him. They were full extended, flared as if in triumph and almost trembling with tension.

What shocked Dean wasn’t the fact that Castiel had wings, though that was part of it, it was the fact that they weren’t normal wings. The wings seemed to give the illusion of a feathered texture, but instead of normal feathers, it was a void of darkness. Within that darkness were swirling galaxies, shifting and in constant motion even as he watched. Stars of every color were dotted throughout, giving the wings a pulsating glow. He even saw a few comets here and there, shooting stars that seemed to fly by so fast, Dean would’ve missed them if he’d blinked.

Castiel, who’d finally paused to look behind himself, noticed the wings and grimaced. The wings seemed to fold back in shame, and Castiel’s head was bowed, not meeting Dean’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I know it scared you-”

  
Those words finally shook Dean out of his awestruck silence, the human quick to protest. “Scared? Cas, this is so cool! Your wings are beautiful.”

Tentatively, Castiel stretched out his wings towards Dean, as the human made grabby hands at him. The wings were so large they almost surrounded the human, cocooning Dean in the endless depths of space. “You’re not afraid?”

Dean reached out to smooth a hand over the wings, delighting in the cool touch, similar to silk. A shiver went down Castiel’s spine and Dean could see that touching the wings really affected the alien. He met Castiel’s eyes, a soft, exasperated smile on his face. “Cas, they’re a part of you. Why would I be afraid?”

Besides, Dean didn’t say what he really felt. That when he touched the wings and saw them, it was like seeing a part of himself. It felt like coming home, like having such a tangible part of Castiel’s true form surrounding him filled the emptiness he sometimes felt. He knew it was his soul calling out to Castiel, yearning, recognizing the alien’s true form and resonating with it.

Castiel shifted, and Dean groaned, remembering he still had the alien’s dick in him. “We can talk about your cool, awesome wings later. But for now, I need you to fuck me.”

Those words spurred Castiel into action, and soon they were both moaning again. This time though, Dean took full advantage of Castiel’s wings and held onto the base, loving the way Castiel seemed to thrust extra hard when he did that. Sometimes, he stroked the feathers just to feel Castiel shudder against him. Dean enjoyed the sensations the wings gave him just as much as Castiel did, when halfway through a series of particularly spine tingling thrusts, Castiel dragged his wings gently over Dean’s body. Dean shouted out his surprised pleasure, expecting the feathers to tickle, but instead, they only heightened the sensations on his over sensitive skin.

He felt the feathers brush his cock and he moaned, blushing slightly at the fact that he was probably marking up Castiel’s true form. A part of him felt a dirty kind of satisfaction at that and it aroused him so much, he was on the edge of coming.

“Cas, I need…” Dean trailed off, his mouth slack in overwhelming pleasure as Castiel anticipated his needs and used a hand to stroke over his cock. He thrust hard into Dean’s body a few more times, drenched in sweat from the pleasure Dean’s hole had wrenched from him.

“Dean, come for me.” The alien’s voice was gravelly, and Dean was no better as he gave a hoarse shout and came. His back bowed, the tension in his body and the subsequent release a beautiful image. So gorgeous in fact, that it only took a few more thrusts before Castiel was cumming as well. His hands tightened to an almost superhuman amount on Dean’s hips and he knew the human would probably bruise after this. He could feel his wings flare back, phasing straight through the ceiling since they were incorporeal. Dean was the only one who would ever be able to physically feel his wings and his true form, their connection a bridge that allowed him that special privilege.

Gently, he pulled out of the human, making soothing noises when Dean let out an uncomfortable grunt at the sensation. He quickly disposed of the condom and grabbed a warm, wet towel to wipe off Dean. Cleaning up both of them in record time, Castiel sighed in contentment as he felt his control slip back into place, pulling the wings back into the separate plane of existence they stayed in.

Just as he slipped in behind the human, humming quietly and pressing a kiss in Dean’s messy hair, the human spoke up. Dean’s voice was barely more than a sleepy slur, already halfway to dreamland.

“We sh’ld do that again Cas.”

Castiel nodded, kissing Dean’s neck as he brought the blanket over them, covering them both and protecting them from the cold night air.

“With wings.” Dean said, a small bit later when Castiel had almost dozed off.

The alien let out a stifled chuckle, falling more for his human every day. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around Dean and sighed, feeling safe and complete.

“Of course, Dean.”

And that would always be his reply. No matter what the human asked of him.

  
 xxxxxx

The sunset was lovely. Sitting here with Dean, the bench on the porch weathered with time, and the beer cold, it was more than Castiel ever thought he could have.

Castiel couldn’t help but stare at Dean, the human almost glowing in the light of the setting sun, the oranges and reds a beautiful color on him. Dean was staring at the sky, the beer hanging loosely from his hands. He took a quick swig before speaking, eyes focused on the horizon.

“Cas.”

Castiel hummed in reply, a question in his voice. He trailed his gaze down Dean’s laugh lines, the stubble on his jaw now speckled with grays, and the flannel button ups the Winchesters were so fond of wearing.

“You’re staring again.” Dean muttered, finally turning to face Cas, a small smile on his lips and a happy glint to his eyes. He could tell his human didn’t mind the staring.

“I hear that’s what humans do, when they’re in love.” Castiel murmured back, after a long moment of quietly assessing each other, both unwilling to break the comfortable silence.

“Hm.” Dean hums back, hiding his grin with another drink from the beer bottle. “You’re such a sap sometimes. I blame Sam for that.”

  
“Well, it’s a good thing he’s not here then.” Castiel remarks, his tone light but the small quirk of his lips belying his true thoughts.

“Yeah.” Dean sighs, the mood turning wistful as he steals Castiel’s beer too, the alien having barely drank any. There’s silence for a few more moments as they both lean on each other, settling more comfortably on the bench.

“Do you think he’s happy? Living with Jess.” Dean couldn’t help but ask, his frown of concern emphasizing the wrinkles he’s developed over the years. Sam had moved out a few weeks ago, and despite Dean’s own worries, he was happy for his brother. He’d finally found a serious girlfriend in Jess and after dating for several years, it was time to take the next step. They’d decided to move in together and leave the house to Dean and Castiel, even when Dean tried to give the house to his brother. Sam had adamantly refused, giving him that stern look that always made Dean a little proud of how strong and kind of a man his brother had grown up to be. His argument was that Dean had basically raised him, so the house should be his by default because it was his hard work that bought it.

Eventually Dean had given in, and after a tearful good bye, his brother had left the nest. It was just him and Cas now, living the life of a married couple. Dean never thought he would be here, in love and happy, his family at peace and his life stable.

“Hey…” Dean spoke softly, the now dark skies hiding his expression. “Thank you Cas.” Dean’s voice was rough, the whisper filled with a certain immeasurable weight.

“For what?” Castiel questioned, his head on Dean’s shoulder and hands clasped gently with Dean’s own rough palms.

Dean struggled for a few moments. There was so much he wanted to thank Castiel for. For finding him. For saving them. For giving Dean love even though he was still learning that he deserved it, that he could have this one good thing in his life.

Finally, he settled with a simple two word answer, knowing that Castiel would understand him.

“For everything.”

They didn’t speak after that, but if Castiel held him a little closer that night, his kisses sweeter, well only Dean would know.

xxxxxx

“Sam.”

Sam jolted out of his bed, cursing as he hit the floor and his body audibly creaked from disuse. Jess, for her part, just groaned and pulled the covers over her head.

“Dean wh’t the hell.” Sam muttered, his face livid as his brother helped him up. “When I gave you a copy of our house key this was not how I wanted you to use it.”

“Yeah I know,” Dean sheepishly said, a hand rubbing the back of his neck the only indication of his embarrassment. Sam sighed and motioned for his brother to follow him out to the living room couch. Jess was already fast asleep again, snoring lightly. God, Sam loved her so much. His loving smile, or as his brother called it, his dopey smile, was always something Dean made fun of him for. So it wasn’t a surprise when Dean gave him a knowing smirk as Sam closed the bedroom door quietly.

“You’re worse with Cas.” Sam grumbled, mutinous even as tendrils of worry crept in. There was probably a good reason his brother had snuck in here at… Sam looked at the clock, sighing when he saw it was three am.

They sat on the couch, Sam facing his brother even as Dean looked shiftily away, his fists clenching and unclenching nervously. This was not the first time Dean had come in at the dark hours of the night to seek Sam’s advice. More often than not, they were simple worries brought on by Dean’s insecurities. Those were something Sam knew how to deal with. He would gently talk his brother down, before sending him back home to the alien who was probably worried sick. It was a good thing that after the first time it’d happened, Sam had pulled aside Castiel to speak with privately and explained to him that Dean did this sometimes. The alien had taken it well, a little worried but content with the fact that at least Dean was seeking his brother’s help.

Since then, Castiel never questioned where Dean went to on certain nights, because his human always came back to him and that was all that mattered.

Tonight was not one of those nights, however, and Sam could already feel a headache coming when his brother asked him-

“Sam...am I attracted to birds?” Dean whispered, the tips of his ears red even as he stared down at his hands, refusing to meet Sam’s eyes.

Sam squinted blearily at his brother, mouth open but unsure as to how to respond to such a weird question. Sensing Sam’s increasing confusion, Dean soldiered on, trying to explain himself.

“Okay so, Cas and I sometimes when we…” Dean looked up at Sam, giving him a smirk and that little eyebrow wag that Sam has come to associate with Dean talking about sex. “...He brings out his wings.”

Ignoring the fact that he was now privy to details of Dean and Castiel’s sex life that he did not want to know, Sam was intrigued by this new information. “Castiel has wings?”

“Yeah but only when things get _intense_ ya know…” Dean emphasizes, doing a little thing with his face again. He looked ridiculous. One day his brother was going to learn to use his words. Today was not that day.

Sam sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “And because you enjoy the...wings, you think you’re attracted to birds.”

“Well, is it just Cas or do I want to _fuck pigeons_ now-”

“Jesus Christ, Dean!” Sam couldn’t help but yelp, throwing a hand up to stop his brother’s words. They both froze, listening intently before relaxing when they heard Jess snore. They didn’t want to wake her up, she was terrifying when she wanted to be.

“Dean, listen.” Sam put both hands on his brother’s shoulders, forcing him to meet his stern gaze. “Are the wings a part of Cas?”

“Well, yeah they’re attached to him…”

“Okay then, you’re attracted to Cas. The wings are just an extension of him.” Sam stood, exhausted with his brother’s amusing yet sometimes stupid worries. “So in summary, yes you are attracted to Castiel with wings, no you are not attracted to birds with wings. End of story.”

“But-”

“Dean, please it’s almost three thirty in the morning. Go back to Cas.” Sam cut off Dean’s protests, a tired smile on his lips as he all but shoved his brother out the door. “And next time use that key when there’s an actual emergency.”

Sam slammed the door in his brother’s face, chuckling at the slightly irate grumbles he could hear coming through. His brother was a mess but at least Castiel loved him for it. Sam was lucky to have a brother like Dean, and Dean was lucky he had people who loved him enough to deal with his idiocracies.

xxxxxx

“None of these are right.” Dean crossed his arms, glaring down at the rings that were clearly mocking him. They’d been looking at rings for at least two hours now and the shop clerk was starting to give them judging looks behind his fake smile.

Sam shrugged helplessly, tapping his fingers on the glass cases. He’d revealed to Dean that he was planning on proposing to Jess, since it was their seven year anniversary and they weren’t getting any younger. He knew for certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and he wanted his brother by his side when he chose rings.

The reaction wasn’t what he expected. Dean had looked shocked and a little horrified, his eyes wide and his face slack. Worried that maybe Dean wasn’t as accepting of his relationship with Jess as he’d previously thought, he’d tried asking his brother what was wrong. It was only after a few more questions that Dean told him he’d come to the realization that he and Cas didn’t have rings. They’d been basically married for almost ten years, and it was only now that he noticed. He was a horrible husband.

After Sam had calmed him down, saying it was not too late to get rings, they’d gone ring shopping. It was way more difficult than either of them anticipated. It’d taken three stores before Sam finally settled on a pair of simple silver rings. Both he and Jess preferred simplicity over extravagance and he knew she would love these rings.

Dean, on the other hand, still hadn’t decided. It was difficult and frustrating because he knew Cas would love the ring regardless of what it looked like, but he wanted something meaningful.

His eyes wandered as he thought, letting Sam deal with the store clerk as he purchased the silver rings he’d chosen. Finally, his gaze landed on a dusty paper pinned on the equally neglected bulletin board on one of the walls. It boasted a large variety of unique rings, including custom made wedding rings made out of space metal.

Intrigued, Dean walked over to the flyer, memorizing the phone number and location on it as he read. It sounded like a hoax, but there was something about it that made him feel like this was what he’d been searching for.

“C’mon Sammy we’re leaving.” Dean called out as he pulled out his car keys and plugged in the address into his phone’s GPS.

“Wha- Dean!” Sam yelped, confused even as he gave the store clerk an apology and grabbed the rings he’d paid for.

“I found another place we can get rings at.” That was his only explanation as Sam got into the car and they pulled out of the parking lot.

Sam seemed curious, smiling encouragingly. “Do you think you’ll find what you need there?”

Dean thought about it for a second, his mind on the flyer that held all his tentative hope.

“Yeah.” He didn’t say that he really believed this might be the place, that he might finally find the perfect rings for them.

A few weeks later, Dean drove out to the store. He left with a package in his hands, his smile wide and steps lighter.

When he got home, he carefully opened it, examining the pair of dark grey rings. They were smooth and simple on the outside. Dean picked one up and raised it a little higher, squinting at it in the light. Huh, for space metal it looked surprisingly normal. Maybe darker than the usual silver but still beautiful when polished right. When the store clerk had shown him the samples of space metal he could choose to have his rings made from, he’d chosen this one immediately, the dark colors reminding him of Castiel’s wings.

The inside of the ring was what made him smile with pride. In the center, there was an engraving of a star. To the left of the star, his initials D.W. were engraved, and to the right of the star, the initials C.W. were on it. They’d decided early on that Castiel would take his last name, since the alien didn’t have a last name of his own.

Dean heard the front door open and he quickly shoved the ring box into his pocket, trying to look nonchalant as he sat at the kitchen table.

Castiel walked around the corner, his clothes covered in dirt as usual. A soft smile appeared on his face when he saw Dean, and he leaned over the kitchen table to give him a peck on the lips.

“Hi.” Cas grinned when Dean leaned in to kiss him again, his voice rough from disuse. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I was uh,” Dean leaned back in his chair, realizing belatedly that he was just sitting there with nothing around to give him an excuse. “Just thinking.” He finished lamely, knowing from Castiel’s raised eyebrow that he was amused.

“Just thinking.” The alien repeated, as he sat on the surface of the table next to Dean. He swung his legs a little, stopping when Dean rested a hand on his thighs. “About what?”  
  
“Well I…” Dean trailed off, staring up at the playful look in Castiel’s eyes, his heart aching with how much he loved this man. Deciding that screw it, they were never one for traditions anyways, he stood up and grabbed Castiel’s hand. Dean stood in between Cas’ legs as he spread them slightly to accommodate him. He reached into his pocket and took out the ring box, noticing Castiel’s look of wonder as he opened the box and slid the ring onto Castiel’s ring finger.

“For you.” Dean finally said, after a moment of stunned silence in which Cas just stared at their joined hands. The alien lifted his hands up to the light, mouth slightly open as he breathed shallowly.

When the alien didn’t say anything Dean continued speaking, his nerves getting the best of him.

“I thought since...you know...we’re married we should have actual rings. It’s a human thing.” Dean shrugged, still waiting for a reaction from Cas. “The shop owner said it was made from space metal, and I wanted us to wear something from where you came from. I don’t know if it’s real space metal but I figured it was worth a try.”

“No Dean it’s,” Castiel’s first words were a bit unsteady, his eyes glistening with happiness. “It’s real.”  
  
Castiel pulled Dean close, resting his left hand on the human’s waist as he used his right to take out the other ring. He looked at it closely, noticing the engravings inside. Smiling gently, he slipped the ring on Dean’s ring finger, pressing a kiss on his lips as he did so.

“Thank you Dean.” Castiel was feeling more emotional than usual as he caressed his husband’s face. Cas could feel the vibrations within the metal, the resonance of it reminding him of his home. As Dean nuzzled into his now ring bearing hand, he pressed closer, wanting to feel Dean and needing that connection.

Dean was feeling equally choked up, his heart beating faster in his chest as he leaned in to capture his husband in another kiss.

“Cas I-” Dean tried to say, the words on the tip of his tongue as he stared into the alien’s startling blue eyes. They were so close their noses were almost touching, both breathing a little hard from the kisses. He wanted to say the words. It should be simple but it wasn’t, because there wasn’t any word in the human language that could truly encompass all the things Castiel meant to him.

“I know Dean,” Castiel replied, gently dragging his lips down Dean’s cheek. “I do too.”

They loved each other, in a way that transcended human limitations. They loved each other, intoxicating and destructive in its intensity. They loved each other, and they were scared. That for every moment they had together, there would be one, where the other wasn’t there.

It was beautiful, it was sad, but it was them. And it was enough.


	3. Epilogue

“Dean.” Castiel’s voice was but a whisper as he held his husband’s wrinkled hand, the irregular beeping of the heart monitor the only other sound. The alien looked older now, his face wrinkled and the laugh lines more apparent. Sam was on Dean’s other side, his back hunched over as he gave his brother a shaky smile.

Dean didn’t say anything back, his gaze soft and accepting as he looked at the two people who mattered most to him in his life. Jess was next to Sam as well, holding tightly to his hand and biting back sobs. They all knew he wasn’t going to live for much longer. This was their final goodbye.

Dean gestured at Jess to come closer and she leaned over, giving him a tight hug even as she tried her best to not hurt him.

“Take care of my brother.” Dean whispered, his voice barely audible through his wheezing breaths.

“I will.” She replied back, her promise was one that he could trust.

Sam went next, his face pinched in pain and tears streamed down his face. His little brother was much older now, and he showed it in the shaky way he leaned down to hug Dean, his body aching with age.

“Dean.” Sam couldn’t help the sob that came out of him, even as he hid it in his brother’s shoulder.

“It’ll be okay Sammy.” Dean softly patted his brother’s back, trying to reassure him even as he felt his heart break. He never wanted to leave his brother, but death had other ideas. The brothers stayed like that for long minutes, whispering gently to each other, sometimes letting out a wet laugh as they reminisced over older times.

Finally, Sam reluctantly released his grip on his brother, letting Castiel have his turn.

The alien didn’t lean down to hug Dean. Instead, he sat next to him on the bed, holding his hand tightly, their wedding rings dulled with time. They didn’t speak for long moments, staring at each other. There was an ancient sadness in Castiel’s eyes, his expression resigned and defeated. Dean could feel the tears gathering in his eyes as he tried to stay strong for Castiel.

“I won’t be long,” Dean promised, holding tightly to Castiel’s hand. “I’ll come running. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Dean,” Castiel sighed softly, closing his eyes shut at the pain he could already feel. “I thought since we had eternity together after your death, this wouldn’t affect me.”

Castiel brought up Dean’s hand, pressing a kiss onto the back of it. “I was wrong.” The alien’s voice broke and he blinked, as tears rose unbidden in his eyes. “This hurts. I don’t want you to leave.”

“Shhh it’s okay Cas.” Dean wished he had the strength to sit up and hug the alien tight. He wanted so badly to comfort his husband, hating the thought of leaving him alone. “Wait for me, I’ll be there soon.”

“Dean I-” Castiel looked away, noticing distantly that Sam and Jess were openly crying now. “I don’t know if I’ll survive it. The human body takes up to twenty years to decompose when placed in a coffin and I can’t…” He trailed off, looking back at Dean and meeting the eyes of his human, his husband, and the one he’d risked everything for.

“I know, I’m sorry Cas.” Dean murmurs, his eyes slipping shut as exhaustion took over.

“I’ve lost you once before.” Castiel couldn’t help but mention. He remembered that millennia old pain of losing Dean and this was no different. He had so much more he wanted to say, so much more he wanted to do with Dean. And even though this separation was temporary, it still felt like a part of him was being ripped away, yet again.

He wanted to beg a god that didn’t exist to spare Dean. He wanted to say ‘I need you’ and ‘please don’t leave me again’. He wanted to laugh together, cry together, and live together longer than one lifetime. He wanted to scream, loud enough that it would drown out the pain in his heart.

Instead, his thoughts were interrupted by the heart monitor’s erratic beeping. They all froze in place for a stunned moment before Sam and Jess practically ran out of the room, calling for a doctor.

Castiel waited until the monitor flatlined. With tears streaming down his face, Castiel stood, fists clenched as he let his human visage fall away, feeling his full power return.  
  
He let the tendrils of his grace gently whisper across Dean’s hand, settling one last time on their ring.

_Until we meet again._

He stretched his aching wings and with a loud roar of wind, he disappeared.

They returned with the doctor, and even though Sam noticed Castiel was gone, he didn’t question it till later. He had more pressing concerns. When the doctor deemed Dean beyond saving, they cried, hearts breaking.

Later on, Sam buried Dean in the field that his brother had requested. Dean and Castiel had explained to him that it was the place where the original chamber had been, where Cas was captured and it held sentimental value. Sam, of course, didn’t remember it himself but he made sure to respect his brother’s last wishes. He was still worried about Cas’ disappearance, but he knew without a doubt that Cas would be waiting for his brother.

His theory proved correct when overnight, a heavy fog descended on the field. It was so thick that you couldn’t see two feet in front of you, the air cloying with the scent of power. After a few nights of this continuous fog, the local news station did a small report on it, commenting on this bizarre phenomenon. When Sam saw the news he felt a weight he hadn’t noticed lift from his shoulders. He knew it was Cas, waiting for Dean to eventually join him.

Over the years he heard whispers from the local townspeople. They claimed that the fields were haunted, that they would occasionally see the shadow of a man with a long coat kneeling next to a grave, unmoving as if in prayer. Those brave enough to walk closer would see that there was no one there, as if the man was just a mirage or a part of the mist.

Whenever Sam had time he would go visit the grave, talking out loud to both Dean and Cas. He knew the alien was listening and though he never showed himself, it was enough for Sam. Eventually, his age caught up to him and he stopped visiting.

Castiel knew that it was because Sam had passed as well. It was okay though, he would stand vigil over Dean, until the day his soulmate reunited with him.

On a cold winter’s night, the usually motionless fog over the fields changed their pattern. Steadily, as if hesitant and shy, small glowing green lights floated out of the ground. They blinked excitedly, as more and more flew out of the grave and intertwined with the fog. The mist swirled in erratic patterns, almost exhilarating in its delight as it met the green lights it’d waited twenty years for. As the mist and the lights moved, a silhouette of two men holding hands could be seen. They seemed to be laughing, tears in their eyes as they moved close to one another and kissed. With one last gentle peck, they stood face to face, both grinning widely as the wind seemed to pick up.

Gently, the light and the mist danced together, moving faster and faster, swirling around the two men. Within one second and the next, they disappeared. The mist and the lights continued dancing for a few moments more, when, with one last twirl, they flew into the stars where they would be reunited.

The next day, the news report showed video footage of an unusual firefly migration in the misty fields, and that the fog which had stayed in those fields for twenty years, had mysteriously disappeared.

xxxxxx

_...and thus, it shall end where it all began, in the stars._

_fin_ __

**Author's Note:**

> About the Major Character Death tag: Dean naturally dies of old age. Dean and Castiel reunite after death. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this journey just as much as I did. This was a work of passion and I can not even express how happy I am to have collaborated with Pigeon. Again, PLEASE go check out the [post](http://thefriendlypigeon.tumblr.com/post/168198740929/written-in-the-stars-dcbb-2017-art) and give the art some love. It's amazing. Comment and reblog the hell out of it. 
> 
> I hope you guys caught all the destiel quotes! I know I had lots of fun integrating it into the story lol. 
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos as you leave, they help feed my cold dead heart and motivate me to write more destiel. Thank you!
> 
> P.S. This was my first time writing smut I hope it wasn't horrible. lol Also I'm participating in the Dean Cas mini bang 2018 and quite possibly DCBB 2018 so you guys can look forward to that :)
> 
> P.S.S. I'm now participating in the Dean Cas flip fest 2018 as well! Please go check it out on profoundnet. :) It's a super fun event and the more people that join the better.
> 
> For a list of events I'm in currently you can check my profile and/or my tumblr [here](http://lunastories.tumblr.com/)


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